choosing your words

I have heard parents telling children to "use your words" and seen employers improving customer service by scripting what employees say.  The first was kind of brilliant.  The second mostly annoying, employees repeating words they obviously don't mean as much as the rude crap they used to say is not that big of an improvement.

I also had a major gestalt experience, a real ah-ha moment, while touring at The Whitney Plantation.

http://whitneyplantation.com/

My daughter got the tickets ahead of time.  It was her one place that was not optional during our visit to New Orleans.  Having visited old colonial homes and plantation homes and famous people's homes and political people's homes, I was game.  I love history--all history.  It's my go-to elective for college credits.

We arrived just before time.  It was an unassuming building by the parking lot.  It was all by tour.  There was no wandering, which had been true in several of my previous experiences.  "NO TOUCHING THE ANTIQUES"!

The gift shop was full of books and a few fair trade items.  The tour started with about 20 people in it, a multicultural group, but that is common in Louisiana.  She gave a short history about the actual plantation, dates and names and then she reminded us that this plantation tour was from the perspective of the "enslaved people" that had lived here.  My daughter had mentioned it wasn't about antiques. 

Enslaved people...somehow at that moment, all the old "slave stories" and histories were flipped.  It was something horrible that happened to people in our country.  It was part of my history. 

"By 1600 an estimated 275,000 Africans, both free and slave  (see how the use of this word eliminates their humanity), were in Central and South America and the Caribbean area. Africans first arrived in the area that became the United States in 1619, when a handful of captives (captives, also distanced by its implications--not people, captives) were sold by the captain of a Dutch man-of-war to settlers at Jamestown."

https://www.bing.com/search?q=first+african+to+arrive+in+america&form=EDGEAR&qs=SC&cvid=175a9d1d380b4feaa42b00b8024a026b&cc=US&setlang=en-US

It was a long tour.  The tour guide was passionate about the stories she told.  She didn't let the questions about how comfortable and cared for the "slaves" were.  And I quote, "you won't be hearing stories about happy, singing slaves" on this tour.  She discussed names, records, the origin of life insurance--much like crop insurance or stock insurance, she discussed the lack of burial grounds--"dumped in the bayous" without ceremony.   

One couple, an elderly white man and woman suddenly remembered a funeral they needed to leave for not long after the jail cell was opened to our group. 

I learned a lot on the tour.

I found the simple yet earthy statues of real enslaved people so poignantly, tearfully touching.  They were not romanticized or done as somehow more beautiful and heavenly than real people--a thing I have seen done to make things more dramatic and unreal.  I found the very old and down-to-earth older plantation house (most of the huge, white plantation houses that are reminiscent of "Gone with the Wind", so much more reflective of what the use of enslaved people to do the work was about.  Plantation were farms and ranches.  They were a family business.  A rich family's business.  Their were black people working for free (those quarters out back made it obvious that they did not have their own little family units to live in) and poor white people working for a little money--but free to change jobs or leave the plantation's employment.  Only the family house was actually nice---not palatial--but for the late 1700's, quite roomy and nicely constructed.

These days, calling the people that were enslaved before the 1860's, "slaves"  makes it seem distant and meaningless to most people. 
Calling them enslaved, points out so much more:

• They were people, either stolen from their life in Africa as a full member of a culture or as an enslaved person-which in those other cultures was more like an indentured servant--something you could get out of at least, or a victim of capture after a war,  or, they were born to parents that were enslaved---what a bittersweet thing a birth must have been to those mother's. 
• There are currently people in this country that are still enslaved. The Thirteenth Amendment (Amendment XIII) to the United States Constitution abolished slavery and involuntary servitude, except as punishment for a crime. In Congress, it was passed by the Senate on April 8, 1864, and by the House on January 31, 1865.

https://www.bing.com/search?q=13th+amendment+to+the+constitution&qs=LS&pq=13th+amen&sk=LS1AS1&sc=8-9&cvid=A23B02C19E004631AF5F22DA1CA27D61&FORM=QBRE&sp=4&ghc=1

• The for-profit prisons that are getting their profit not only from the taxes of our states but also from the forced labor of the descendants of those same enslaved people that were brought to this country from Africa hundreds of years ago. 
• Before for-profit prisons, we did the same--license tags, chain-gangs, work farms. (those politicians knew what they were setting up in the 1860's)
• In addition to the slavery that was allowed to continue via the 13th Amendment, we have human trafficking (another interesting word, meant to dehumanize the victims, much like the word "slave" does.  Human trafficking, while frequently involving sex trafficking of marginalized women, also includes factory-type employers that arrange groups of immigrants to come in, work long hours under dangerous conditions, don't allow them to leave, charge them exorbitant rates for their cots and sad meals and not allow them out of the work place or to go home.  Two industries that are disturbingly popular with fashionable women and well-to-do men are where women from Asia have been brought over to do nails and give massages. 
• Last but not least, are the children brought to this country to be fostered by the wealthy that end up being used as domestic servants and sex workers.  We still have plenty of people willing to use those that are already in bad straits, victimizing them even more than the homeland they were trying to escape.

The Whitney Plantation Tour Guide chose her words wisely.  She made an impact--not just on me.  The people from that tour visited the gift shop in Thoughtful-mode.  Books were purchased, hopefully to be read.  Notes were written for their wall for that purpose.

And I was made aware that our word choice can make something seem either normal or horrifying,  acceptable and distant or real and current and devastating.

If you use words for things that make them sound nicer than they are, regular, business as usual, ordinary.  Stop it.  Bad things, events, activities, behaviors should never be glossed over to make them sound acceptable.  If we would be better as a species, we need to talk about those atrocities that make us worse, less, and bad.  You can't stop something until it is recognized as a problem.

And if you are going to New Orleans,  take the Whitney Plantation Tour.

It will make you a better person.

The Importance of Ritual

Sometimes, we humans need something more.  We need to make a thing important.  We need to make it memorable.  We need something with purpose, tradition, symbolism, unspoken meaning to create a landmark in our memories, and our lives.

Ritual:  a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order.   (Religious:  1. Having or showing belief in and reverence for God or a deity.

2. Of, concerned with, or teaching religion: a religious text.

3. Extremely scrupulous or conscientious: religious devotion to duty.)

I have met people with obsessive-compulsive disorder that can turn their morning ablutions (that's an archaic word not heard in my home state every day) into a religious (extremely scrupulous or conscientious and according to prescribed order) every day.  

For most of us, Rituals are for those rare events that serve as milestones in our lives; birth and birthdays, graduation (how ever many times and steps that might be), marriage and anniversaries.  Awards.  Promotions.  Paid off mortgages.  And, of course, death.  That last one is not going to end up in the memory of the person memorialized, but rather in the memories of those that loved them.

There are a multitude of sources of ritual.  We have culture and religion.  We have current fads and personal beliefs.  We have those creative sorts that make up a ritual from thin air, fill it with purpose, symbolism, and beauty and Voila--a new ritual tradition is available to future humans.

But why? 

WWWWHHHHYYYYY?????

We have huge moneyed industries dedicated to celebrating births and their subsequent birthdays, Weddings, Anniversaries, and Death.

There is pride and status in spending huge amounts of money, frequently borrowed money and bill money and college saving, on those celebrations.  And so many choices are made based on competing with others in the family or community--is it as good as?  Is it better?   Did I wow them?  Was it the "most beautiful wedding, quinceañera, Bat Mitzva, golden anniversary, christening... etc. etc.

"Most "is a word of comparison.  A sign of competition.  A sign of poor reasons for why a ritual is performed. 

A ritual is not for winning.  It is to mark an important day--a life event worth remembering.

And remembering is as important as making an event sacred through ritual.

If something big is happening in your life, birth big or marriage big or just goal-completion big.  A ritual is a great way to set the memory.  But chose your ritual carefully.  If all you remember later is the $30,000 worth of credit card debt you now need to pay off, you may have lost sight of your purpose.  Some rituals are rather cheap and steeped in tradition--like putting the brooms in the house through a window instead of a door when moving in, or using a unity candle or unity sand to make a new family from individuals not previously related.  Sometimes the use of scent, like incense or flowers or tree boughs or even a food or drink can help to set a memory.  Sometimes beautiful words can set the beauty of an event in stone in the mind.

But a beautiful couple that love each other, is beautiful in jeans and a t-shirt or a simple dress and best suit of clothes without the $1,000 + dress and expensive matching tuxes rented by the day.  And truly, potluck food brought by loved ones--family, friends, made with love is tastier than the fanciest caterer.  The Venue doesn't need to be lavish or exotic.  The decorations do not need to be over-the-top.  The ritual is not to create a winner but a wonderful, or beautiful, or tearfully loving memory(I really hate funerals--and fully intend to skip mine).

If you really must create credit card debt--I strongly recommend a hobby.  I personally waste all my money on art supplies.

(This was written in honor of my daughter on her Wedding Day, and all the thought and worry that has gone into this very special ritual--It will be beautiful and memorable and I did not pay for it--she did.   She is a very thrifty sort of woman.  I recommended they dress up in rented gown and tux, get some pictures of an event that didn't occur, and elope.  My favorite rituals involve incense and meditation.)

Finding Root Cause.

In my work, we go in search of root causes so we can fix the cause of a problem instead of playing the blaming game.
Most of the people hate it.  They just want to keep punishing the person that messed up, even if that error occurs repeatedly because our process is broken.
We competitive, hellfire and brimstone types find something very rewarding in punishment.
It makes those of us not being punished feel like we are contenders (say it like Marlon did)

But, while we can keep blaming people for falling into the many traps left for them by systems that don't work well for everyone or at all times---doesn't it make more sense to fix the system?

We, in this country (and apparently in many other countries, if global news is to be believed) are having a multitude of problems that just continue on and on. 
We have prisons full of drug addicts.
We have criminal enterprises.
We have homeless people.
We have people that are unemployed.
We have people that are uninsured.
We have people with little or no education.
We have people in this country that are undocumented.
We have corruption in politics, justice and big business.
We have companies asking employees to lie and cheat people to make quotas.
We have racism.
We have gender inequality.
We have bullying in schools.
We have people being targeted for violence because of their sexual orientation.
We have hate groups.
We have religious ostracism.
We have.....
where do I stop?  The world is not nice.  People are not nice. 

Do we punish them?  Everyone?  Each time someone does something that is not nice?
I hear "Money is the root of all evil!"  (it is actually supposed to the be love of money...)
I hear  "They need God"
I hear  "We need to bring back corporeal punishment"
I hear  "We need to step up capital punishment, they know that even if they get caught, they have years before anything will happen.

I don't hear "Why?"
Why? is not an appropriate question according to child psychologists.  They might be right--for children--but I think even children can discover the reason why they did something.  Maybe they can't answer why fast, but they can search for why?

Adults can't answer "why?" quickly AND accurately either.  And Why? is not a one time question.  Why? merely leads to more why's.  And that is why it is useful.

#1  Why do we have prisons full of drug addicts?  Because drug use, except for use of prescription drugs as directed by a physician is illegal, and usually a felony.  Why?  Because in the United states we have a law giving control of drug use to the Medical Community for treatment of physical and mental illness only.  Why?  Because if everyone can just buy them willy-nilly, they won't use them appropriately and they can be dangerous--besides, people go to Doctors for prescriptions, cut them out of the process and they lose a lot of income.   So why would they buy them if they didn't need them?  Because they want to escape, they want to feel better, they want to get happy, they want to relax, they feel stressed and hopeless and stuck.  Why? Because they are poor and uneducated and depressed.  Because they have a mental illness.  Because their job is a pitcher plant, easy to get in, impossible to get out.  Because they are searching for themselves and their friends are trying it and they heard it was great.  Because they got hurt and it stops the pain.  Because they are addicted and don't know how to stop, are afraid to stop or don't want to stop, even though they know it will eventually kill them.  Why?  Because modern life has lots of stressors but few places to learn to cope with them.  Because modern life likes to consider those stressors to be the way to separate the winners from the losers.  Because LIFE is a competition in our culture. Why?  Because, while we completely reject Darwin's evolution, whereby all life evolved from simpler lifeforms, we have yet to release the idea of Social Darwinism and "Survival of the fittest".  It is right up there with laissez faire capitalism and the idea that Rich people really are better than poor people.  Why?  Because, if those of us that aren't rich, reject the idea that money is the scorecard, what are we working for?  How do we know we are still in the game.  What is our reason for continuing?  Why?

Why? 
Why do we have criminal enterprises?  Because if you can't make it in the acceptable business world, there is money to be had in the land of the illegal. Why? Because people will pay for drugs, sex, and other things it is illegal to sell, and they will pay big?  Why?  See question #1.  But what about sex? why will people pay for sex?  Or guns that are easily purchasable through half a dozen vendors?  Or for stolen merchandise?  Art? Cars? Jewelry? Tools? Why?  The first thing to remember about any criminal enterprise, it is paid for by people that want something that they can't buy legally or can't afford except if it was obtained illegally.  The Prohibition created a huge criminal Enterprise just by making alcoholic beverages illegal.  So maybe the best question is why do we make laws against things that we know will create an opportunity for a criminal enterprise.  Maybe the answer is finding ways to make there be well regulated pathways to obtaining these things as long as there are not victims created.  For a lot of this stuff, the whole appeal is the risk and excitement of doing something that is taboo. (There is a whole realm of stuff that is only exciting if it creates a victim and for that, no mercy and no legal route to obtain)

Why?
Why do we have homeless people?  Because not everyone can afford housing.  Why?  Because housing is expensive and not everyone can get a good job or even a bad job.  Why?  "Because housing is a very profitable business and the demand for housing, even crappy, unrepaired old houses with crooked porches and lead pipe plumbing, is high.  There are empty houses, some rather nice in those slowly aging and depopulating rural towns, but those houses are not free and they are aging and depopulating because their are no jobs.  Why is having a house or apartment linked to a job?  Because we are a capitalist country.  So why are there people without jobs?  Because they have no skills, they are too old to do manual labor.  They are mentally ill.  They are addicted to drugs.  They had skills in a field that is not longer needed like repairing toasters or using a spinning wheel.  They have no teeth so can't represent a company to the customers.  They are blind.  They are on disability and would rather use their money on other things than rent and utilities--like food and medicine or alcohol.  So, why do we not have housing available to them, get them off the street permanently instead of letting missions taking in a different 20% every night.  Homeless people cost money to the areas they hang out.  They use lots of emergency healthcare which is expensive.  Why don't we try to find them a new way to live that they can succeed at. 

Why?
Why do we insist on keeping our problems instead of fixing them?

Why do we demonize people and groups of people and philosophies and beliefs that differ from our own?

Why do we insist on using the same systems, processes and rules that have not worked in the past?
Why?

Why do we think that someone else is more likely to know the answers to all those questions than we are, or be able to fix the problems better than we can, or identify new solutions that are smarter than the solutions we can think of?
Why?

Why don't we all become problem-solvers, detectives, brain-stormers, think-tankers and creators of a better world.
Let us lose our lazy thinking, our comfortable thoughts about right and wrong, our borrowed philosophies that we not only haven't really read, but don't understand, and examine the why? of our human condition. 

Why not?

It's Earth Day!

I remember the first Earth Day.  I got a tee shirt from the National Wildlife Federation.  It had a nice design of a blue earth with all kinds of animals and flowers.
I wore it out.
If my hometown participated that first year, I never heard about it.

This year I have at least 6 local events for Earth day and a March for Science invite.  I have twice that many virtual events.  There are a couple of sales in honor of the Earth, also.  You have really made it as a holiday when stores have sales called by your name.

It's cold outside.
It's wet outside.
There will be scrambling for parking spaces and crowded outdoor venues, screaming babies that are over-stimulated and arguing, overly political adults.

I'm thinking I might just clean my house.

Eat some oatmeal.

If it actually clears up, maybe I'll do something--or maybe I'll mow.

Shouldn't EVERY day be EARTH DAY!


In honor of our sacred planet:
Hug a tree.
Smell a flower.
Walk somewhere.
Reduce, Reuse, recycle.
Don't litter.
Prevent Forest Fires.
Waste not, want not.
Bird watch.
Join a nature center.
Conserve water.
Consider Solar panels.
Buy an electric or hybrid car if you must drive.
Walk, bike, or use public transportation if you live a a place that such is possible.
Avoid insecticides and herbicides.
Buy local.
Consider Vegan.
Consider vegetarian.
Reduce your meat intake to less than 4 ounces a day.
Wear natural fiber clothing.
Avoid clothes that require drycleaning.
Avoid convenience packaging.
Ask yourself---why do I need this?
Ask yourself---is this good for the planet?
Ask yourself---What can I do to improve the world on a day to day basis.

Go outside, take off your shoes and socks, step down on the earth, feel the earth, the dirt, the plants, (try to avoid an ant hill or stickers) and close your eyes. 
Try to remember that the thing you are standing on was there before you.
Has provided your sustenance, and your ancestors sustenance.
It is not there because of you.  You are here because it exists and while there are millions of planets in endless galaxies in our universe,  it is the only one we know for sure is covered with lifeforms. 

We--all of us on this planet--are rare and miraculous.
All of us.
All.

It's not just about us humans--Happy Earth Day.

What are you willing to fight for?

If you have ever worked a job in which the work is as much about waiting and watching and handling emergencies as it is about continuous busy-ness, then you have probably had a few very odd conversations.

If you have worked nights when it is so quiet and empty that you can hear ghosts, but were not alone, there was at least one other living, breathing human, you have definitely had odd conversations.

I remember one such night with a person that frequently worked the same hours I did, in which the conversation turned to what would you have to think you were losing  that would make you fight?...make you risk dying?.... make you risk going to prison?... risk never seeing your loved ones again?

We were young--but not that young.  It was a boring night.  And frankly, the person I was speaking to had recently buried a mostly grown child and barely born grandchild after someone got angry and killed them.

She was one of the strongest people I had ever met;  Neither always angry nor always sad and pathetic.  Never overly dramatic.  And this was not the first tragic event in her life.
She was strong.  She continued.  She did what she needed to do to keep herself and her family safe and healthy.

She admitted that she would gladly spend the rest of her life in prison for killing the man that did that to her family.

Revenge--but stipulated early on that she would wait for the judicial system to do something first.

He went away forever so she continued doing what she did.

But the conversation stuck in my head.

What would I gladly die in prison for.  What would I risk death for.  What would I risk everything for.

Our young people go to war and risk their lives.  Every generation offers up young men and young women that feel their country is worth dying for.  (Since my country has not actually been at direct risk for a good long time, I think that it might be easier to get younger people, patriotic people, those that want to have a cause worth dying for---even if they don't fully understand the cause, to take on that risk  or maybe they are like so many other risk takers.)

Our Police officers put themselves at risk to stop crime.
Our firefighters put themselves at risk to stop fires.
Our healthcare workers put themselves at risk to fight disease.
Our miners put themselves at risk to dig up coal and metals and gemstones and chemicals.
Prostitutes and drug dealers put themselves at risk to fight their own poverty.
Race car drivers put themselves at risk to fight boredom.

Is that the same?  Is that just "what are you willing to risk to make a living?"

People can be injured or killed in every job.  There is no absolutely safe method of making money.

Is that fighting?  Is that being will to fight for something?

Are all of them just fighting to stay alive?  Fighting for a better life?  Fighting to make the world a better place---at least for themselves?

What am I willing to fight for?

Am I too old to fight?  Am I to weak to fight?  Do I have to be willing to kill someone to fight?  Do I have to be willing to do something illegal to fight?  Do I have to risk my life to fight?

I risk my life everyday.  Every walk through a public place, every contact with a stranger, every moment of physical activity.

Life is tenuous.  A clot floats to heart or brain.  A tree falls.  Lightning strikes.  The wiring sparks.  The pressure cooker explodes.  The candle blows over.  The car breaks.  The burglar notices my house.  I need milk at the convenience store.  The government building I'm in, explodes.  The skycraper I'm touring gets hit by a plane.  There is a tornado, a hurricane, a flash flood, a forest fire, an outbreak of swine flu or spanish flu or ebola.

I can't fight any of that.

But I am willing to fight.  I can fight.  I will fight---for a better world, against injustices, for my children's and grandchildren's rights....

Isn't that really what all us fighters really fight for.

May your day be safe and your heart stay strong.

privilege, grace, and gratitude

While privilege, grace and gratitude are NOT the 3 Wyrd sisters, they are very strange bedfellows.

If I have noticed anything over the last few years, it is an increase in all three words in common or not so common conversations (my small talk participation goes down with age and I don't always have a firm grasp of common conversation topics)

Privilege as a noun--a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.  As a Verb--grant a privilege or privileges to.

Grace as a noun--simple elegance or refinement of movement.  (this is the one I knew from my childhood) OR (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. (this is the one that belongs in this blog today, not in a christian way, but in the more generic bestowal of blessings upon someone or a group of someones). As a Verb--do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence.  (heard this one as a child also--usually with a sarcastic tone when someone was late).

Gratitude as a noun--the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness--there is no verb form, but it is a very active noun.  Gratitude is important to us all.  Without taking stock of what we have and being thankful, we can languish in despair, freezing us from ever feeling better or doing more.

Here is the kind of conversation that made this poor little blog come to my imagination.  "Through the Grace of God, you have been very privileged and need to show your gratitude.  You need to thank your lucky stars....."

The fact I have heard some variation of this statement repeatedly in the last few years, usually after making a "negative" statement about 1. too much power in the hands of the wealthy, 2. the religious right not actually having the right to make this a single religion country or make other people's choices for them, 3. how much I would like to retire and actually have to time to improve my painting ability, 4. how tough it is for people with mental illness or substance abuse issues to get any help. 5. how unfair it is that the minimum wage is not a living wage.  6 how unfair it is when people die young of curable illnesses because of no insurance...........

And, they are right to a point.  I was born white at a place and time in which a blue collar worker could support a wife and 2 kids without his wife having to work, could buy and pay off a house, could keep the car running, could grow a garden with same stay-at-home wife thus avoiding daycare costs, and eating more veggies and less processed food without paying twice as much for it.  I was born when white people of simple means could go on a road trip once a year for a week, camp out, and see the national parks across the land.  I was born to parents that did not have substance issues, didn't hit more than the average of that era, were of above-normal intelligence and old enough to not feel their kids were interfering with their freedoms.

I was born and raised to believe that I was as good as anybody, and could do anything I set my mind to.  Outside influences of those times added a few caveats to the end due to my being a girl, and not a beauty queen of a girl, that anything I could do was pretty much limited to "nurse", "teacher" (because I was smart enough) or homemaking with one of the boys I would eventually meet--"choose wisely and for love because marrying for money is a hard way to make a living".

So, I was born privileged.  Not as privileged as ten year old Donald Trump, but definitely more privileged than Ann Frank or Emmett Till.  You can die young while being privileged, but being murdered young out of hate says a whole different thing.

Now, it is time for that "Grace of God" part.  The implication is that somehow, through nothing I did, or didn't do to deserve it, and just because God is God, I was born--"white, a citizen of the USA, to parents that loved me, in a place that provided an education and recognized a need for a scholarship to college(--pretty much everyone that went to college at my little school went with some scholarship or grant.  Back then, there was only one family that could send their kids without help.  Some of those that didn't get a scholarship went on their own dime years later at the community college).

"Grace of God", might sound like population probabilities or just dumb luck to those that were not born under as fortunate of circumstances.

I have heard many people try to explain how God decides why people are not given equal chances and circumstances in life.  Sometimes explaining is just excuse making.  Sometimes explaining is just rude and evil and based on hate.

Reality is, being born Black in Ethiopia is not a sign of a lack of God's Grace.  Being born to a prostitute or a single 14 year old rape victim or a 45 year old couple on a reservation is not a sign of the lack of God's Grace.

Being born blind, or mentally retarded or with birth defects is not a sign of a lack of God's Grace.

God did not decide that people that aren't white can't have equal treatment or equal opportunity.
God did not decide that people that were female had limited choices in their lives.
God did not decide that people with disabilities should be treated as inferior or incapable or less valuable.

God did not Grace me with my Privilege.
God did not Grace rich people with their privilege.
God did not Grace white people with their privilege.
God did not Grace the USA with its privilege.

We have turned God into the greatest excuse in the world.
We have turned God into a reason to be our worst selves.
We have turned God into the basis of hating and competing and judging people to be unworthy of happiness or even life.

AND  when someone goes too far out there about the injustice, the inequality, the hypocrisy, the just plain wrongness of it all,  we tell them "Gratitude is what you need."

Gratitude will save you from your anger, your sadness, your negativity.

So, I'm grateful for my life.  I'm grateful for my job and my home and my family and my education, my opportunities and my privilege.....

But it didn't stop me from seeing injustice.--I'm grateful it isn't affecting me personally very much.
It didn't stop me from seeing that their are people that are treated poorly because they are poor or brown or have an accent or a disability or date people their same sex or dress nontraditionally or go to the wrong church.

It didn't stop me from noticing that we are trying to rape the earth for every last penny we can get from it while those with the most Grace are just showing their Gratitude about knowing God is coming to take them home soon.  (explain saving our planet to people that think God loves them best and will take them home before they actually completely destroy their current home).

I'm full of gratitude for the good things in my life.  It didn't make me go deaf, blind and mute. 

Those individuals that think speaking of something that is wrong is negative, so  therefore pretend it isn't there are not making the world more positive.

Ostriches don't really bury their heads in the sand to hide from danger.

That is what those positive, privileged, grace-filled and gratitude speaking people do.

Come on.  Wake up.  Even Jesus got angry.

Privilege is man-made.
Grace is free to all.
Gratitude is a step not an end-all act toward making the world better.
Pull your head out.

In a Benevolent World

In a benevolent world, people are well meaning and kindly to each other.

The implications of a benevolent world are more people having a better life and a generally happier planet.

Most of us consider ourselves benevolent.

Most of us try to be nice and kind and helpful.

Most of us believe we are empathetic, sympathetic, and well-meaning in our actions to others.

So why is the world so cruel, mean and unfair to so many?

There just ended debate  about "the affordable care act" versus "the American healthcare reform act"  with a goodly portion of us actually wishing we had "medicare for all".(no profit, just a simple system in which we all get the same benefits--our whole life--and everyone pays by ability--our whole life, no maximums, no deductible, no pre-existing conditions, that's it,  only cosmetic and vanity surgery and meds are on your own dime.  And yes, plastics for cleft lip, burn scars and breast reconstruction are covered, butt implants and Viagra--not so much.)  

The new law failed for a two-pronged reason:  It was going to pull coverage for millions of people that would no longer be able to pay for their private insurance thus creating a sh__storm of calls to governors and congressmen against voting for it (its all about the next election and always is) AND a group felt it was still going to cost the federal government way too much money. (call them the "DIE, losers, DIE", group that think the government's purpose is to pay them money for helping rich people become richer).

In a benevolent world, people should be able to see a healthcare provider when they are sick--and they can right now, thanks to EMTALA--which allows anyone, no matter their ability to pay--the right to a medical screening exam in any emergency room if they are seriously ill or injured or in labor.  

Many hospitals have the pregnant women go directly to the labor and delivery of the hospital for their exam to prevent 2 exams--1 by ER doc and one by an OB person--cutting out the middleman and saving time, resources and money.  

Many hospitals will actually treat people--to a degree--after they are in the emergency room, even if they are not so sick that it is an emergency.  (that is going beyond the law, which only says they have to treat if it is emergent, i.e. endangers their life or limb--and, in this case, we have multiple limbs, like your eye is a limb.  Got it?)

Emergency rooms do NOT have to provide routine prescriptions.  They could, in fact, only provide services that have a payor source or cash, once the screening exam is done and it has been determined that neither life nor limb is in danger.

Most of the emergency providers in my state go ahead and make some attempt to intervene.
Those people that show up in the ER for minor illnesses and injuries usually have no one else available to see them. (let me assure you, they do talk bad about those uncovered patients using the emergency room like a free clinic--amazingly, most of those working there don't get that they are the only hope for receiving healthcare).

Those patient's without insurance, medicaid or medicaid or some federal coverage like veterans or Indian benefits, have no access to preventative care--at all.

They have no access to care for chronic illnesses unless someone has helped them to get one of the available federal, state, or charitable organization accesses--which frequently only occurs after an emergency situation when an ER diagnoses a problem that is terminal or lands them in ICU or Surgery.  It's not altruism so much as finding a way to treat them and get paid--so sort-of-altruism.

In my home state, which declined the Medicaid expansion that was offered with the ACA, our rate of people with no payor source has decreased from over 18% dependent on EMTALA for childbirth and all their medical care, to just under 14%.  (so 4% obtained insurance via the insurance exchange). Texas is now down to 17%.  Mitt Romney's plan would have helped those of us that declined the medicaid expansion.

Do I consider it benevolent to force people to only seek care through the emergency room?  
They are not full service.  There is no chronic illness education, management  or prevention services offered.  They do refer, but the places they refer to do not have to see people without insurance or a payor source.  If you tell them you want to pay cash, it may or may not be an acceptable solution--many won't even set up the appointment without the payor source information.  People that could actually pay cash, have platinum level insurance.

Emergency rooms provide some of the most expensive medical care we can offer.  The only thing more expensive is Critical Care and Emergency surgery, both used more by people with poor access to preventative medicine and and no chronic illness management.  The ER sends them to those areas when they really did have an illness or injury that was a danger to life or limb.  

That is how homeless people, very poor people, and undocumented aliens get into the hospital.  When they are made well enough to discharge, they are discharged to home and with a referral.  Even if they have no home.  Even if they can't buy their medications to maintain that newly acquired level of health.  Even if that referral won't get them an appointment---no payor source.  
And from there, the cycle starts again.

Doesn't seem very benevolent of us.

We also want people to get a good education to better themselves, but don't want to provide money for a good education--not to kindergartners and not to college students.

In my state, there was some blame, 40 years ago, that education wasn't better here because we had crappy teachers(isn't it always who is blamed? and with no evidence at all), so this little state upped the standards to higher than pretty much everyone.  To teach you had to jump through hoops.  They tried to get professionals to get those high-hooped certificates, and had some success--there are always a few altruistic people around.  They even periodically approved raises.  Unfortunately, the budget rarely covers those raises.  Quite a shock to take a job after being shown your starting pay and the currently state-approved pay grid, only to discover that the last three raises were never instituted so your reality check (pun intended) will be based on the grid from 6 years ago.

So the new answer is going to be vouchers.  Vouchers, so that parents don't have to put their kids in public schools.  Vouchers where the new charter, nonprofit-church school, or for profit specialty school may actually require parents to pay more than the voucher.  Vouchers to places with various admission criteria that poor students may not meet.  Co-Pays that poor people may not have.  Places that don't send buses and don't serve meals. And the goal--get those pesky, public schools off the public dole.  "Those that can--do, those that can't, teach--right".  Somehow, I can guess who the losers in this drama will be, and as usual, they won't be rich.

We want people to earn their own way, make their own opportunities, and well---"look and act like an American".  (that translates to some version of a white, christian, man, woman, or child with a conservative, tasteful wardrobe--no tattoos or piercings or colorful hair--with a heterosexual parents and heterosexual tendencies, ---and money, preferably lots of money!)  

In other words, we want to consider ourselves benevolent people--but only to our kind of people.  We want to live in a benevolent world.  But we don't like diversity.  And we don't like any evidence that our system might be flawed. We certainly don't want to be actually competing for money, power, jobs, education, healthcare, or even good food with anyone that is not "our kind of people". 

Perhaps, competing is the actual problem.  Capitalism is and always will be about competing.  And the scorecard is dollars.  

If everything, even such basics as clean food, clean water, childhood education and healthcare are part of a competition where only winners win, and our scorecard is dollars, then rich trumps everything else. (no pun intended--truly, it was a card game reference.)   The other rest of us will just be vying not to be the biggest losers.  

To change this; to truly work toward being a benevolent world, we will need to do more than go to Sunday School a few times.  We need to look at other forms of economics.  Capitalism is made to create winners and losers.  It's a competitive system aimed at creating hierarchy of power with the top 1% (now owning over 50% of everything) and the bottom 50% struggling to meet their basic needs.

If we would provide actual opportunity to all people, we would, in a truly benevolent act, insure basic needs to us all; enough food, safe homes, useful education, and actual healthcare--the kind that prevents those devastating effects of chronic illness and unsafe environments so that we are not wasting money on emergencies that never had to happen.  It will also decrease the money spent on people so devastated by their childhood that they now require a lifetime of care--and no, they aren't being lazy.  They are being brain-damaged and mentally ill and otherwise impaired by a lack of parental education and available healthcare when it could have provided them a chance at a better life.

A benevolent world is not out to put people in their place as losers.  Its goal is to help every single one of us reach our full potential, not as workers, but as self-actualized souls.  

We need to change the scorecard from money to those life-goals that are harder to define and impossible to place in order (end the hierarchies).  Attributes like happiness, contentment, loving-kindness, and just plain helpfulness.

We need to create a benevolent world.
 

Soot, Smog, and radioactive fallout

Once upon a time, nobody worried about the earth.  The natural world was this sturdy thing, made by GOD for our use.  FOR OUR USE!
And we have used the crap out of it.  We have traveled 10,000 years, doing what we do best---looking at things and coming up with new ways to use them and new things we could make to use and new things to want if we could figure out how to make them.  
One of the first things we made---after our very first weapon, was fire---not an invention as such, but a very valuable discovery capable of helping us with  the first law of thermodynamics, also known as Law of Conservation of Energy,  which states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another.  
We have found many ways to change energy in the last 10,000 years.  And while some of the newer ones have little by-products, a lot of the older ones have a decidedly large impact on whatever they are around.

Soot---a black, carbonaceous substance produced during incomplete combustion of coal, wood, oil, etc., rising in fine particles and adhering to the sides of the chimney or pipe conveying the smoke: also conveyed in the atmosphere to other locations. verb (used with object) 2. to mark, cover, or treat with soot.

My parents knew soot, as did their parents and their parents,parents,parents.  Medieval knights knew soot and ancient Greeks knew soot and cavemen knew soot.  

It was coating the inside of my chimney and coated London in 1952. Soot used to be ubiquitous.  Rock and brick buildings used to look quite grim and gray, as did the skies of cities with large populations in areas that heated and cooked with coal, peat, and wood fires.

As we became more ingenious, we developed ways to do more than just heat and cook, and created engines and factories that not only used wood and soot, but also that burned petroleum products to give those new machines their power.  Fifty years after the automobile, that rich man's play-toy and newest pride-maker, became the standard method of travel, instead of just soot, we were facing a black/gray fog of chemicals that made skies hard to see far and eyes burn and noses wrinkle in distaste.  

We creative and amazing humans had created smog.

 

Smog is a kind of air pollution, originally named for the mixture of smoke and fog in the air.

Classic smog results from large amounts of coal burning in an area and is caused by a mixture of smoke and sulfur dioxide.
In the 1950s a new type of smog, known as Photochemical Smog, was first described.
Smog is a problem in a number of cities and continues to harm human health.
Ground-level ozone, sulfur dioxide, nitrogen dioxide, carbon monoxide are especially harmful for senior citizens, children, and people with heart and lung conditions such as emphysema, bronchitis, and asthma.
Hospital admissions and respiratory deaths often increase during periods when ozone levels are high.
 https://www.sciencedaily.com/terms/smog.htm

When I came home from grade school talking about smog, my parents had never heard of it.  But as a truck driver, my father had seen it.  It's why we went to the mountains or forests on vacation.  It's why I was 50 the first time I saw Chicago.

Chicago's sky looked pretty good in 2007.  Like something had gotten rid of all that smog I heard about when I was a child.  (back then)>>>>><<<<<now)  Of course, those beautiful sunrises and sunsets are related to particles in the air, but the air is no longer so thick that light can't pass.

The worst of them, and last on the table at our poisonous party, made possible by our big brains and tendency to turn every bit of new and amazing information into a weapon first and a money-maker next was radioactive fallout--Fallout is the radioactive particles that fall to earth as a result of a nuclear explosion. It consists of weapon debris, fission products, and, in the case of a ground burst, radiated soil.
It was another thing I heard about in school.  We did a few drills, and talked about going into fallout shelters and even heard the sirens that were supposed to tell us it was time to do that.
It was terrifying.


Fallout, as in "fallout shelters".  Our neighbor had a fallout shelter.  It always had water puddled in the bottom, and was only used for tornado warnings, but we all knew about "fallout".
Sort of knew.  Kind of knew.  Thought we knew.

We had no clue what nuclear fallout actually meant--we just thought someone in a WWII bomber plane was going to drop something on us.   The idea that the very air was about to become a weapon was so far beyond our little minds.......

The people of Hiroshima and  Nagasaki actually knew.  Or rather, the people that were not in Hiroshima and Nagasaki until after the bomb, knew.
       https://www.nap.edu/read/11282/chapter/ 

The one thing all three of these have in common is human's caused them.  (ok, a lightning-caused forest fire was not human caused, but soot is much more common that that.)  So, we humans caused them.  They are bad for us in the long, and even short run.  And because their poisonous nature is related to our livelihood, our finances, and our sense of power, we forgive them far too often--forgive them to the point we avoid trading them for things that are less harmful.

We act like clean energy is a nasty word.  But windmills (as far back as 1000 b.c.e. in Persia) and water mills (40 AD Rome) used to power various common machines  such as well pumps and grain grinding mills.  But if the source was there and the machine could be configured, other things as well.

And things like the Clean Air Act of 1970, cleared the air above such monstrously smoggy cities as Los Angeles and New York City.  The EPA, Environmental Protection Agency, was born about the same time.  Since the birth of the industrial age and the age of cars and the population of the world in 1900 being only 1.6 to it's current 6 billion, our human ability to poison ourselves and every thing around us, has grown significantly.  
http://www.worldhistorysite.com/population.html 

So now that we are officially an Oligarchy, owned and run by those bigger than life corporations that not only have the rights we fought to gain for ourselves but also get the lion's share of governmental financial and legal support, all those agencies that were born to protect our air, water, and soil are going away.  All those laws aimed at maintaining our right to live in a world with breathable air, potable water and fertile soil are ending, as they interfere with the ability of big business to make a profit for their shareholders and bonuses for their C-suite power-mongers.

And---a quarter of us can't see we are in danger.  They keep thinking that the only problem is immigrants coming to steal their jobs and rape their women.  They believe that someone made those businesses move their factories to places that didn't have a minimum wage.  They believe that their little town's patron saint of endowments is the only thing standing between them and all the horrors of the world.  Not once asking---how did that family come to own everything worth owning in this place?

The factories complain about having to pay people minimum wage and people that can barely find a place to rent or buy food to feed their family decide that the minimum wage is the enemy.  While across town, the wealthy factory owners, CEOs and those that consider golfing with their banker to actually be their work, throw out enough food at every meal to feed a family of four--good food, organic, we aren't talking about boxes of bacon that smells of antibiotics and iceberg lettuce and bread so infused with preservatives that a loaf never goes bad.

The business owners complain about having to meet standards for dumping their by-products into the water, air and soil, and complain about the cost.  And the people living by those factories, drinking from the water supply closest to those factories, building schools and playgrounds for their children on the land nearest the factories, believe that is why they are struggling.  If the owners weren't trying to meet silly standards, they would pay them more.  

But before there were standards, they didn't pay more.

Being rich is not about sharing.  
Being rich is about winning.
And those people working in those factories and business are so far away from the people owning the businesses, the factories, the corporations, as to be seen as less than human.

We complain about hoarders, viewing them as mentally ill.
We complain about criminals, viewing them as a pox on the arse of society.
But how different from those 2 groups are those that can never have enough money and power;
how different, with their tax-shelters and efforts to avoid following rules about pollution and methods to avoid paying those that work for them a living wage, are they really?  
Sounds like a hoarder.  
Sounds like a criminal.
We have the knowledge to keep from poisoning the earth.
We have the ability to keep from poisoning the earth.
What are we waiting for? 
(and no, the rich will not get on this bandwagon until they can't buy a place where their own lungs don't hurt when they breathe---maybe not even then)










                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

understanding all those new words(or old words used weird ways)

The last little while has seen a rise in words that are not always easy to define.  They are loaded words.  Words with opposing meaning depending on the population.  Words without meaning unless the context is clear.

It is my goal to round them up and try to make sense of some of them.

NeoCon.  or Neoconservatism  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoconservatism,
or in plain language, when talking crap about a anti-soviet social democrat. (good article with link but other than the crap-talking, I don't see an actual group of people being described)

NeoLiberal--relating to a modified form of liberalism tending to favor free-market capitalism.  http://www.investopedia.com/terms/n/neoliberalism.asp
so, referring to a wallstreet democrat, also best for putting someone down and talking crap.

Both Neo's seem to be pretty old so more political psychobabble or politobabble than meaningful categories.

snowflake--obviously being used as an insult, although unique and cold would have been my guess at meaning, it is apparently a generation (?)  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Snowflake 
that has reached adulthood after 2010 (I'm pretty sure people are using this insult for anyone that isn't a Trump supporter) meaning delicate and melts on contact.

troll--One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument.  More closely related to a fisherman trolling for fish than the mythic creatures in legends but just as annoying.

Internet troll - Wikipedia 

white nationalist--White nationalism is a type of nationalism or pan-nationalism which holds the belief that white people are a race and seeks to develop and maintain a white national identity. Its proponents identify with and are attached to the concept of a white nation.  Closely related to White Supremacy Groups, and NeoNazi Groups which share similar beliefs.  Other countries have movements including many in Europe right now. 

oligarchy--

1.   government by the few The corporation is ruled by oligarchy.
2. 2 :  a government in which a small group exercises control especially for corrupt and selfish purposes a military oligarchy was established in the country; also :  a group exercising such control An oligarchy ruled the nation.
3. 3 :  an organization under oligarchic control That country is an oligarchy.

corporatocracy  is defined in the New Oxford American Dictionary as “a society…that is governed or controlled by corporations.
 http://www.counterpunch.org/2016/01/04/bernie-sanders-vs-the-corporatocracy/

theocracy-- government of a state by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided.  Included would be ancient Egypt, North Korea, Ancient Israel and Judah, The Holy Roman Empire, etc, etc. (no, we don't want to go back to that)

Plutocracy --

1. government by the wealthy.

   • a country or society governed by the wealthy.

     plural noun: plutocracies
   • an elite or ruling class of people whose power derives from their wealth.

     (hmmm, sounds familiar, I think I have seen this somewhere before in real life)

democrat--a person that belongs to the democratic party.  (I have no idea what that says about them as far as values, beliefs, preferences, or anything else, it's a lot like TEAM-DONKEY)

democratic-- relating to or supporting democracy or its principles.

synonyms:

elected, representative, popular, parliamentary; egalitarian, classless; self-governing, autonomous,

democracy--a system of government by the whole population or all the eligible members of a state, typically through elected representatives.  Government by the people; especially : rule of the majority: a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections.  (what we all thought we were, but never were)

republic--A republic (Latin: res publica) is a form of government in which the country is considered a "public matter" – not the private concern or property of the rulers – and where offices of state are elected or appointed, rather than inherited. (Ancient Greece)

GOP-- Grand Old Party-- refers to the republican party. (Has a real mid-19th century sound to it)

Republican--belonging to, or characteristic of a republic. 
a person advocating or supporting republican government.  
 And these days, a member or supporter of the Republican Party, TEAM ELEPHANT

Libertarian--is a collection of political philosophies that uphold liberty as a core principle. Libertarians seek to maximize autonomy and freedom of choice, emphasizing political freedom, voluntary association, and the importance of individual judgment. ( I love the sound of this, but the party has turned it into guns and weed, guns and weed and no taxes or laws) 

Independent--free from outside control; not depending on another's authority.  People that self identify as independent tend to not like labels and see themselves as not just joiners and cheerleaders but as free-thinkers that make their choices based on specific circumstances. ( in other words, "Those stinking people responsible for losing the election for Hillary")

Socialist--a person who advocates or practices socialism. (a dirty red commie)

Socialism a political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole. (The USSR and Red China consider(ed)  themselves socialist nations)

Democratic socialism--Democratic socialism is a political ideology that advocates political democracy alongside social ownership of the means of production, often with an emphasis on democratic management of enterprises within a socialist economic system. Northern Europe and Bernie Sanders.)

Social--relating to society or its organization,
gregarious; breeding or nesting in colonies  (ok, that supposed to be birds, but very interesting, right?)
an informal social gathering, especially one organized by the members of a particular club or group--so our political parties are social (jk).

Communist--a person who supports or believes in the principles of communism

Communism-- An economic and social system envisioned by the nineteenth-century German scholar Karl Marx. In theory, under communism, all means of production are owned in common, rather than by individuals (see Marxism and Marxism-Leninism). In practice, a single authoritarian party controls both the political and economic systems.

Unitarianism (I just threw this in to see who was paying attention)

capitalism--an economic and political system in which a country's trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit, rather than by the state.

an economic system in which investment in and ownership of the means of production, distribution, and exchange of wealth is made and maintained chiefly by private individuals or corporations, especially as contrasted to cooperatively or state-owned means of wealth.  This is the form of economy that came to exist at the end of feudalism.

freedom--the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint,
absence of subjugation to foreign domination or despotic government,
the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved

liberty--in philosophy, involves free will as contrasted with determinism. In politics, liberty consists of the social and political freedoms to which all community members are entitled. In theology, liberty is freedom from the effects of "sin, spiritual servitude, [or] worldly ties. 
freedom from captivity, confinement, or physical restraint:   the state or condition of people who are able to act and speak freely

rights--Rights are legal, social, or ethical principles of freedom or entitlement; that is, rights are the fundamental normative rules about what is allowed of people or owed to people, according to some legal system, social convention, or ethical theory.

righteous--(of a person or conduct) morally right or justifiable; virtuous.

right--correct (or these days, what everyone thinks they are)

religion--the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods,  a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance, a particular system of faith and worship. 

separation of church and state--is a phrase used by Thomas Jefferson and others expressing an understanding of the intent and function of the Establishment Clause and Free Exercise Clause of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States which reads: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separation_of_church_and_state_in_the_United_States, 
 People that don't follow the majority religion in this country are very fond of this right.

choice--an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.

pro-choice, the belief it is a woman's right to choose whether she has an abortion or not.  In contrast to not having a choice, so that she either has to have an abortion or she has to give birth.

pro-life--the belief that if a woman gets herself in a family way, she must have the baby (amazingly, this belief has nothing to do with the life of either the new baby or of anyone else, it is not anti-war or anti-death penalty or pro-education for all or pro nutrition for preschool and is frequently endorsed with an attitude of punitiveness toward women that have sex but don't want to be mothers at that time.

life--The definition of life is controversial. The current definition ^{[according to whom?]} is that organisms maintain homeostasis, are composed of cells, undergo metabolism, can grow, adapt to their environment, respond to stimuli, and reproduce.  I guess if we were really pro-life we would have a hard time eating, killing trees for wood.......

value--the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something,  a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life, .(noun),consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of,  estimate the monetary worth of (something).

values--Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.
They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.
When the things that you do and the way you behave match your values, life is usually good – you're satisfied and content. But when these don't align with your personal values, that's when things feel... wrong. This can be a real source of unhappiness.

human--relating to or characteristic of people or human beings.  A human being, especially a person as distinguished from an animal or (in science fiction) an alien.  (notice the use of the word in the definition, I couldn't find a definition that didn't do that unless I got into evolution, and only scientific thinkers like that)

humane--having or showing compassion or benevolence,  characterized by tenderness, compassion, and sympathy for people and animals, especially for the suffering or distressed

humanity--the human race; human beings collectively, humaneness; benevolence.

Genocide--the term 
did not exist before 1944. It is a very specific term, referring to violent crimes committed against groups with the intent to destroy the existence of the group.
 http://www.genocidewatch.org/aboutgenocide/8stagesofgenocide.html

Rhetoric is the art of discourse, wherein a writer or speaker strives to inform, persuade or motivate particular audiences in specific situations.  These days, it's what You are saying in response to my facts.

Fact--a thing that is indisputably the case, a piece of information used as evidence or as part of a report or news article, something that has actual existence, a piece of information presented as having objective reality, something that truly exists or happens : something that has actual existence,
a true piece of information

alternate fact--a lie, an untruth, a fib, a whopper, a story,...... (it is possible that something that is an opinion can be presented as a fact, and that alternate opinions exist, making neither fact, in fact, a fact, and we all have opinions and....nevermind)
 
allegations--a claim or assertion that someone has done something illegal or wrong, typically one made without proof

deflection--:  a turning aside or off course  (as in, the finger was pointing at me, but by my amazing abilities of deflection it seemed to be pointing a completely different direction)

denial---refusal to satisfy a request or desire

refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) :  assertion that an allegation is false, refusal to acknowledge a person or a thing,

the opposing by the defendant of an allegation of the opposite party in a lawsuit

psychology :  a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality 

corruption--dishonest or illegal behavior especially by powerful people (as government officials or police officers,inducement to wrong by improper or unlawful means (as bribery, favors, jobs, deals,

incompetence--lack of the ability to do something well :

competence the quality or state of  being competent,
a sufficiency of means for the necessities and conveniences of life,
the knowledge that enables a person to speak and understand a language,the ability to do something well, the quality or state of being capable,
the quality or state of being functionally adequate

coup--a sudden, violent, and illegal seizure of power from a government, 
a notable or successful stroke or move

controversy--disagreement, typically when prolonged, public, and heated (notice, this definition has nothing about facts or right/wrong.

wrong--not correct or true, in an unsuitable or undesirable manner or direction, an unjust, dishonest, or immoral action

moral-- concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.  holding or manifesting high principles for proper conduct,
a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do

ethical--relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these, 
Equitable, fair, and just dealing with people that, although pragmatically flexible according to the situation and times, conforms to self-imposed high standards of public conduct

propaganda--information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote a political cause or point of view.  (see alternative facts)

I sincerely hope that this is useful the next time a troll attacks you on Social media, spewing the propaganda,  and trying to use their rhetoric for deflection away from alternative facts creating controversy in hopes of a coup.

Now, off to another wonderful Sunday of doing whatever I want--am I a Libertarian? or an Independent?  
Does it matter?--enjoy.

Who's your daddy, who's your momma.

I once knew a man with 8 children, and periodically he would disappear from his family because no one had called him anything but daddy or grandpa for so long he was forgetting who he was.  He wanted to hear someone call him by his name.
That is what he told me.
That is what he was afraid of---losing himself in a single role.  No one remembering anything about him except in the context of his role of father.
While I suspected at the time there was more to this than just identity loss, I did understand.

I have worked in a few nursing homes where women carried baby dolls and only answered to "granny" or "ma".  They were suffering from dementia and had truly lost all of themselves except for this one role.

As an older person with children, I do recognize the possibility of losing parts of myself.  My world becomes more about family and the work part and friends part shrinks and falls away as the job changes, retirement looms and friends go through the same.

I know that my own parents experienced some of this.  In the last 10 years I heard about parts of their lives I hadn't known existed.

As a geneology/history lover, I enjoyed the stories, but as a daughter, I always wondered about the depth of our relationship.  I never doubted the love or support, but while we talked--a lot, and shared time--a lot, they had lived over 30 years when I was born.  They also lived over 20 years after I was grown, and while I was probably around more days than was necessary for any of our sanity, there was a lot of time in which I have no idea what they were doing.  I definitely didn't know what they were thinking or talking about with their friends and each other.

I just assumed they spent all their time being my parents.
Kids don't stop being egocentric just because they pass toddlerhood.

Now my own children are grown.
I'm pretty open about who I am now.
I tend not to talk about the past unless a particular thing is pertinant to a current topic of conversation.  (past life experience makes excellent illustrative examples in conversation)  I tend to be a good listener and a minimal talker in the small talk social setting.

I know who I am.
I am not at all sure my children know who I am.
I'm not sure any of us really know who our parents are.

So, if I were to go back in a time machine, these are the questions I would like to answer.
Mom?  Dad?
Who were you?
Did you have a life goal?
Did you have a bucket list?
What was your all time favorite movie?
Who was your best friend in all your life?
What place did you most like to visit?
What was your favorite color and why?
What did you think was the most important part of living?
Did you consider yourself a good person?
Did you consider yourself successful?
What did you want to do that you never really got to do?
Do you have regrets?
Did you have a good childhood?
Did you daydream?
Did you have hopes and fears?
Did you really know your parents as people?
What else would you have talked to them about?

Are we all just doomed by the very age differences and developmental stage differences  to a relationship in which we only know each other through our roles.

I thought I knew my parents fairly well, but everytime they rolled out a story I had never heard before, it was a shock.
A shock that there was more about them than I knew.
A shock that I had not recognized that, while they were huge in my life, bigger than life for half my life, they were mostly 2 dimensional characters in my life.
I knew them through a relationship.
I knew them through a role.

Maybe that is just the way that is supposed to be.

But please don't ever let me forget the sound of my own name.