privilege, grace, and gratitude

While privilege, grace and gratitude are NOT the 3 Wyrd sisters, they are very strange bedfellows.

If I have noticed anything over the last few years, it is an increase in all three words in common or not so common conversations (my small talk participation goes down with age and I don't always have a firm grasp of common conversation topics)

Privilege as a noun--a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.  As a Verb--grant a privilege or privileges to.

Grace as a noun--simple elegance or refinement of movement.  (this is the one I knew from my childhood) OR (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. (this is the one that belongs in this blog today, not in a christian way, but in the more generic bestowal of blessings upon someone or a group of someones). As a Verb--do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence.  (heard this one as a child also--usually with a sarcastic tone when someone was late).

Gratitude as a noun--the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness--there is no verb form, but it is a very active noun.  Gratitude is important to us all.  Without taking stock of what we have and being thankful, we can languish in despair, freezing us from ever feeling better or doing more.

Here is the kind of conversation that made this poor little blog come to my imagination.  "Through the Grace of God, you have been very privileged and need to show your gratitude.  You need to thank your lucky stars....."

The fact I have heard some variation of this statement repeatedly in the last few years, usually after making a "negative" statement about 1. too much power in the hands of the wealthy, 2. the religious right not actually having the right to make this a single religion country or make other people's choices for them, 3. how much I would like to retire and actually have to time to improve my painting ability, 4. how tough it is for people with mental illness or substance abuse issues to get any help. 5. how unfair it is that the minimum wage is not a living wage.  6 how unfair it is when people die young of curable illnesses because of no insurance...........

And, they are right to a point.  I was born white at a place and time in which a blue collar worker could support a wife and 2 kids without his wife having to work, could buy and pay off a house, could keep the car running, could grow a garden with same stay-at-home wife thus avoiding daycare costs, and eating more veggies and less processed food without paying twice as much for it.  I was born when white people of simple means could go on a road trip once a year for a week, camp out, and see the national parks across the land.  I was born to parents that did not have substance issues, didn't hit more than the average of that era, were of above-normal intelligence and old enough to not feel their kids were interfering with their freedoms.

I was born and raised to believe that I was as good as anybody, and could do anything I set my mind to.  Outside influences of those times added a few caveats to the end due to my being a girl, and not a beauty queen of a girl, that anything I could do was pretty much limited to "nurse", "teacher" (because I was smart enough) or homemaking with one of the boys I would eventually meet--"choose wisely and for love because marrying for money is a hard way to make a living".

So, I was born privileged.  Not as privileged as ten year old Donald Trump, but definitely more privileged than Ann Frank or Emmett Till.  You can die young while being privileged, but being murdered young out of hate says a whole different thing.

Now, it is time for that "Grace of God" part.  The implication is that somehow, through nothing I did, or didn't do to deserve it, and just because God is God, I was born--"white, a citizen of the USA, to parents that loved me, in a place that provided an education and recognized a need for a scholarship to college(--pretty much everyone that went to college at my little school went with some scholarship or grant.  Back then, there was only one family that could send their kids without help.  Some of those that didn't get a scholarship went on their own dime years later at the community college).

"Grace of God", might sound like population probabilities or just dumb luck to those that were not born under as fortunate of circumstances.

I have heard many people try to explain how God decides why people are not given equal chances and circumstances in life.  Sometimes explaining is just excuse making.  Sometimes explaining is just rude and evil and based on hate.

Reality is, being born Black in Ethiopia is not a sign of a lack of God's Grace.  Being born to a prostitute or a single 14 year old rape victim or a 45 year old couple on a reservation is not a sign of the lack of God's Grace.

Being born blind, or mentally retarded or with birth defects is not a sign of a lack of God's Grace.

God did not decide that people that aren't white can't have equal treatment or equal opportunity.
God did not decide that people that were female had limited choices in their lives.
God did not decide that people with disabilities should be treated as inferior or incapable or less valuable.

God did not Grace me with my Privilege.
God did not Grace rich people with their privilege.
God did not Grace white people with their privilege.
God did not Grace the USA with its privilege.

We have turned God into the greatest excuse in the world.
We have turned God into a reason to be our worst selves.
We have turned God into the basis of hating and competing and judging people to be unworthy of happiness or even life.

AND  when someone goes too far out there about the injustice, the inequality, the hypocrisy, the just plain wrongness of it all,  we tell them "Gratitude is what you need."

Gratitude will save you from your anger, your sadness, your negativity.

So, I'm grateful for my life.  I'm grateful for my job and my home and my family and my education, my opportunities and my privilege.....

But it didn't stop me from seeing injustice.--I'm grateful it isn't affecting me personally very much.
It didn't stop me from seeing that their are people that are treated poorly because they are poor or brown or have an accent or a disability or date people their same sex or dress nontraditionally or go to the wrong church.

It didn't stop me from noticing that we are trying to rape the earth for every last penny we can get from it while those with the most Grace are just showing their Gratitude about knowing God is coming to take them home soon.  (explain saving our planet to people that think God loves them best and will take them home before they actually completely destroy their current home).

I'm full of gratitude for the good things in my life.  It didn't make me go deaf, blind and mute. 

Those individuals that think speaking of something that is wrong is negative, so  therefore pretend it isn't there are not making the world more positive.

Ostriches don't really bury their heads in the sand to hide from danger.

That is what those positive, privileged, grace-filled and gratitude speaking people do.

Come on.  Wake up.  Even Jesus got angry.

Privilege is man-made.
Grace is free to all.
Gratitude is a step not an end-all act toward making the world better.
Pull your head out.