Monday, June 8, 2026

living with the dead.

I will be 70 in 60 days, give or take a few hours.  

Am I old?

I will not say I'm 69 years young, or a look good for my age, or I'm in great shape for my age or any of those things intended to soften aging. I AM WHAT I AM.  Me, God, and Popeye.

It's been a ride, though not much of a match for my 14 year old dreams, and definitely nothing like my 7 year old expectations.

But it's been a life and I'm not done.

I'm no more social than I was at 7, still prone to reading books with more delight than window shopping, and more fond of other people's second hand junk than new designer fashions.  You start buying new designer threads for making quilts and collages and jewelry and people will know you are both rich and crazy.  

Estate sales are my favorite---and I love the sales of those whose families are mystified, for i suspect that my own children will be in a similar strait cleaning out my home.  I usually skip the collectors of fancy stuff, the giant houses full of fine art, fine jewelry, fine furniture and doll/glass/belt-buckle collections.  But, if they saved every tool they ever used, saved those fabric scraps, couldn't part with a flower pot or kept weird hats, too many t-shirts, or extra wide and short (flintstone feet) shoes, I'm going. Wandering through their stuff, sometimes wishing you had a chance to get to know them before it was too late.  

And that is just the beginning. 

I spend most of my time alone, but have long conversations with those I no longer can see or call, maybe dead, maybe long lost in the past.  

Long conversations, and frequently both filled with self-illumination and a path of research to learn something about something I don't understand.

One such conversation went on for more than a year, finally resulting in my recognition that the entire loss of that friendship was actually my own misunderstanding.  It was never an actual friendship, I just had wanted it to be.  It was, in fact not much of anything.  The local preacher had asked the person to watch out for me, as a "young christian" at university, and that was taken seriously by a very devote classmate. I was a disappointment.  Sometimes it takes years to gain clarity.  Everything we ever learned we learned at a certain age, so sometimes our understanding has to be reconsidered from our new perspective of, say 65.  Insight is good, though sometimes ego-blasting.

I still talk to my parents gone 26 years and my grandmother gone 31. I occasionally still complain to my long deceased ex-husband, but also apologize for just not really getting who he was.  Romance, where we create prince charming from whole cloth, then are disappointed when we discover he doesn't exist.  He was not a good person, he was flawed, selfish, filled with anger and even rage, and all that was understandable, I just didn't get that I was a perfect whipping boy.  At least we didn't kill each other.

I hate cemeteries, that is no place to talk so i frequently talk, in my head or outloud while working on some project or other.  Some projects remind me of people I've known and loved, or liked, or occasionally, learned to despise. It's like they keep teaching me about me, about the world, about themselves, long after they have moved on. 

And yes, I was always a little weirdo, daydreaming, reading, wondering and wandering.  Though I try to not talk to myself in front of anyone, that would be too much.



Monday, May 18, 2026

Post-delusional Depression

 The past decade has been---eye-opening????

Now, at 69 years, 10 months and 13 days, I am finally getting that the feeling; the dark, empty, hollowed-out, hopeless feeling that has been growing within me since the night Hillary conceded the election, is just a symptom.  My generation, the generation born post-WWII, born en masse of veterans and their honeys jumping into marriage in preparation for their men to go fight and perhaps die to keep us all safe from fascism,  the generation that, put up their flags on flag days, national holidays, days the sun shone, the generation that lived through the fight for civil rights, abortion rights, integration.  That generation.  We were many.  And now we are old.

Getting old is hard work.  But recognizing that so much of what we were raised on was fluff, that in truth, except for the rich and powerful, we were mostly raised on ideals, prayer, patriotism, hard work, freedom, equality, truth, fairness.

If you walk through an old farmhouse, you will frequently see an odd mix of heirloom-aged tools still being used, modern conveniences, and souvenirs---frequently tasteless things, a toothpick holder shaped like mount rushmore, the standard face of anglo-saxon Jesus glowing out from a corner of the diningroom.  In the old family farms, getting pretty rare these days, the house may have arrowhead collections, framed letters from presidents, photo albums and bibles with family "all the way back".  The first generation was always "in America"  like the family before the migration did not matter.

We were house-proud, land-proud, heritage-proud, and so proud of our country we would hunt up those ancestors that fought in the american revolution, the civil war--either side, frequently both, and practically worships our relatives that died fighting for "our freedom".

In school, we learned about columbus--getting here, not really where he landed or what he did once in the western hemisphere, and never much about the people already here.  About the pilgrams and puritans and never much about who those people were, nothing about canada or mexico or the history of south america,  It was always, all about the European immigrants in North America.  

My granddaughter learned about the first americans---the pilgrams---every year for 6 years right before Thanksgiving.  Same story, always the same level of detail---which was pretty much suitable for a 5 year old but way to simple for a 5th grader.  It wasn't history, it was cheerleading. It was the only history in her curriculum in grade school.  (as a reader from a young age, I knew more in grade school, and think we had some history in grade school, not just holiday stories, but I can't be sure)

I liked old family stories all my childhood, they weren't always true---at this point I have fact checked most of them, but public school history was a dry, sodden, pointless mess of memorized dates, famous leaders, names of battles and wars with their dates but not their reasons, what led to them, why we always won--except for the battle of little bighorn---and Custard was a hero but again, no idea why we fought that.  

I loved university history courses, those teachers, while the basic requirement was a bit tedious with names and dates, the rest were full of nuance, reasons, causes/effects, more big picture built from details and the usual mishmash of a timeline of unrelated dates and names and wars.  

And now, we all see the effects of not teaching history as a living thing, not teachings it to everyone---with both sides and causes and effects and connections to the ordinary people that were always left out in our public schools.  

WE DON'T KNOW OUR OWN HISTORY---and are doomed.

I was also doomed, by my own belief in the ideals of our country that were so well pressed into my mind that I never conceived that the country was not being led by the ideals I so passionately loved.  Not getting what the actual difference was between the very wealthy, the very powerful, and the rest of us.  

I was living in a delusion, the delusion of the constitution, bill of rights, morality, ethics, equality.  And this past decade has thrown it in my face so hard---I woke up.  

Post-delusional depression is hard to work with.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone.



Thursday, December 11, 2025

NO AI

I open this favorite place holder and am greeted by multiple USE THIS TO MAKE YOUR WRITING BETTER.
AI.
AI, where everything is based on whatever internet input is thrown through the "brain" to teach the artificial intelligence about reality. 
Like reality lives on and in the internet.
ARE. YOU. KIDDING?!?!?!
Reality is not on the internet--what is on there is a tiny bit of reality and a whole lot of gaslighting social influencers, random bullshit from folks that want to be famous, rich and well, get a bunch of likes for nothing.
No one is putting their serious work out there to be stolen.  NO ONE.
And now, every tech bro is trying to make a killing off of their robotic brain program.
So, AI, how about going out in your backyard and growing a garden---not a picture of a garden, not a plan of a garden---a thing that produces actual living vegetables and fruits.
Grow a baby, not a program of a baby, a real baby that grows into an adult and reproduces---in the real world.
Make a friend, at a park, that you talk to, walk with, play with----and not via a phone.
Describe the feeling of the sunlight on your head, the warmth radiating off the concrete in August, the sound and feeling of wind as it rustles through the leaves and your hair.
Your art reeks of stolen photos and drawings, your writing is grammatically correct and without wisdom or creativity, your presence on the planet is a sign that money has no morals, ethics, honesty or empathy.
IF WE CAN MAKE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, WE CAN:
  • end poverty
  • end cancer
  • end addiction
  • end genetic problems before or at birth
  • provide everyone with great healthcare, great educations, great infrastructure and great work/life balance safety nets
  • end war
  • end crime
but instead, we force it on people, throw it into everything online, use it instead of customer service people, use it instead of computer people, throw it, without reason into every computer system while putting computer systems into everything so that, without constant upgrades our cars, appliances, etc, etc, fail.  
Instead of artificial intelligence, we need to work on life---real life.
NO AI!

Wednesday, July 30, 2025

history repeating

gotta good beat and you can dance to it...

seriously, i'm hearing alot about trump/hitler similarities.

what i'm not hear is about the industrial revolution/the tech revolution similarities; the whole crappy  rise of oligarchs that removed anything stopping them from profiting off the destruction of the rights and improvement of the average citizen---especially women, POC and other invisible groups---invisible because they were powerless AND not because they were not around.  

Inevitably, the rise of oligarchs leads to a severe shift to the right, a rise in authoritarianism, and tribalism.  

Goal one:  if everyone blames the other crabs at the bottom of the bucket for their conditions, no one blames the ones that put them in the bucket.

We love to talk about the founding fathers like they were gods; but they were just educated men, landowners, and MEN.  (ben franklin was closest to a regular guy---and these days he is reminding me a lot of steve bannon---OMG, terrible thought---i always liked ben, but I wasn't living in North America back then, i had relatives that were, ancestors if you will, and they were good sturdy peasant stock---a statement that pissed off my grandmother to no end, but i did the genealogy and my ancestors arrived to escape and do better----usually as servants, bond servants, and releases from the poorhouses, and, i suspect a couple from prisons for actual crimes.  Reality sucks.

Before the Industrial Revolution, most of the American power base consisted of landed gentry, frequently landed by the very royals and nobility they left Europe to escape.  The French had not yet revolted, and Europe was ruled by hereditary monarchs, noblemen that had sworn fealty to monarchs in exchange for land, fealty meaning, they would send their warriors to fight for their king, merchants, that lived at the will of the royals and nobles above them, the clergy---that had a rather strong position in each kingdom, and the peasantry.  The peasantry were NOT citizens, they basically belonged to whatever fiefdom they were born in, needed permission to marry, could not own land and whatever they made, grew, or herded belonged to the landowner.  They lived at the pleasure of their owners and had no rights.  (sounds wonderful, right?)

The revolutions of France and what became the USA changed that to a point.  The constitution and Bill of rights changed more, but white trash was still white trash, and POC were  not even considered of the same species.  AND women, women and children were chattel.

For years, the only ones voting or enjoying the BILL of RIGHTS were landowning white men.  Military service did provide some folks with land that didn't have it before, and the westward expansion provided more white men with land---frequently soldiers, but sometimes immigrants came for this very reason----and they were given the land of those people that had lived on that land for tens of thousands of years.  Funny how easy it is to steal from those whose humanity has been denied.

The goal should not BE repeating history---think been there/done that---the goal should for everyone, from individual to state to country to world----improving on the situation of all of us, always.  AND I include all species in that---all life.


Wednesday, September 18, 2024

Perspective

The United States has changed a lot since it's birth in 1776, but even before it declared it's independence, it started the the postal service (1775-Ben Franklin)

That sounds very progressive and down to earth---but who really benefited.

The postal service has never been free and stamps didn't get started until 1847.  US registered mail started in 1855.  Pony express started inn 1860. Home delivery in town started in 1863 but in rural areas, you still had to go to the post office to get your mail until 1896. 

In addition to that, mail didn't help everyone. 

Mail was dependent upon literacy and before 1800, schooling was a family matter.  By 1875, about 80% of people could read (but not across the board, this was non-immigrant white people) 

Until the 1950's, half of the US population stopped school by 8th grade.  By the 1960's 40% were graduating high school.   

These days, about 20% of citizens have problems with reading/writing and 54% lack proficiency.  Proficiency was not discussed until recently.  By 1979, racial reading literacy differences were gone.

Percentage of persons 14 years old and over who were illiterate (unable to read or write in any language), by race and nativity: 1870 to 1979

YearTotalWhiteBlack and other
TotalNativeForeign-born
187020.011.579.9
188017.09.48.712.070.0
189013.37.76.213.156.8
190010.76.24.612.944.5
19107.75.03.012.730.5
19206.04.02.013.123.0
19304.33.01.610.816.4
19402.92.01.19.011.5
19472.71.811.0
19503.2
19522.51.810.2
19592.21.67.5
19691.00.73.6 *
19790.60.41.6 *

 By 2020, 87% of students were graduating from high school.  

Estimates are that 19% of high school graduates are still illiterate.

Equality is not all that equal.  At least most of us are currently benefitting from the 7 day a week package delivery even if we can't all read our mail.

Saturday, August 3, 2024

changing the world is easy, improving it hard.

 I don't know about you, but this third trump campaign---threats of dictators, taking the social security i'm now pretty dependent upon, hypertension requiring the medicare that arrives at 65---all they craziness----it's making me anxious, giving me worries, causing some paranoia.  I don't think I'm alone.  I have ran into multiple people that literally relax when they say something about the election and I don't bang the drum for white christian nationalism or wag a flag around to prove what a great patriot I am.  They relax.  We get to discuss our fears.  We get to say, outloud, how scared we are if the hate, divisiveness, extreme conservativism and talk of violence continues.

For a moment, we don't feel so alone.

For a moment, we know the whole country has not lost it's mind.

So many of us have family members that want to rant about "libtards" but can't bear to hear anything negative about the GOP.  

I finally found a bit of peace, not in the certainty that Harris will win:  I had that certainty the night of the 2016 election and woke up to a president trump.  For 2 years at work, I had to listen to rush limbaugh broadcast loud and proud from the open door of the manager over me.  People were becoming ruder to their coworkers, Older male power players upped their inappropriate behavior to the women employees.  Those in charge became more and more male, more and more vocal in their authoritarian responses to every problem.  

The Tea Party, a silly group of vapid conservatives that wanted to be remember as patriots like the boston tea party (is throwing a ship load of tea in a river really that amazing of an act) had become the MAGA movement.  

We, except a million or so of us, survived that 4 years.  Gun violence was up, unemployment was up, the GDP was down, the stock market down, and we elected Biden by the biggest margin of any president ever.

He has done an amazing job.  Our corporations and billionaires have managed to keep the Trump tax rate for the rich so far, and they managed to keep their profits higher than ever, and unemployment was never lower.

And the general consensus is---he, the current president--is no longer competent.  BUT the 2016 president, who was NEVER competent and scared those of us with brains half to death, is still running, on lies, on threats, on word salad, and on promises of  "be a dictator on day one" and "no one will ever have to vote again"

The only answer is simple.

Vote

Live each day with moral responsibility, honesty, and integrity.

Do Not Give IN TO DESPAIR!

And stop acting like WALL-E was an instruction manual for our future.

Monday, January 1, 2024

2024 begins

 It's a new year, and like the reality of most new years, it looks remarkably like the previous year.

The world has rising fascism, rising natural disasters, unrelieved climate change continues, and the most corrupt US president ever--worse than Nixon, worse than Reagan at his most senile, worse than Andrew Johnson and worse than Andrew Jackson.  If you took the worst of each of those guys, you would get trump.

And we, the civilized we, the government we, the we that includes every person that voted against the Donald; we, are sitting on our hands.  We are waiting for the Justice system to work.  We are believing  the "we the people" part about our country.  We are relying on "equal justice under the law"  and the rule of law to deal with a man that never met a law he wouldn't break---for a profit, for attention, for likes on social media, and he is actively campaigning to run for president, again, after arranging an insurrection, after stealing classified government documents, after attempting to have clerks, judges, district attorneys and anyone trying to hold him accountable for his actions disabled through his cultish followers desire to please him.

It has been 3 years!

No criminal resembles the behavior of Trump more than Charles Manson and his "family".  No dictator resembles the behavior of Trump more than Hitler.  

But we, the "we" I already described are handling him much like a handwringing old lady that is afraid of being seen as rude.  

Come on, 2024.  Don't be the last year of the country with high ideals, equality, equal opportunity, equal justice, and freedom---not just for the white and christian, not just for the white, male, and straight, and certainly not just for the top 2% financially.

Let the great experiment continue to improve the lives of ALL OF US! 

Monday, October 23, 2023

grieving for the past.

 If you were to look at choices as if they were a linear display--the timeline would look like a reverse fractal.  The huge selection of choices available to most of us would keep being halved by each big choice we made. 

The child that is told his/her whole childhood that "you can be anything you want", knows soon enough that isn't actually true.  By seven, I knew I could never be the King of Siam---for so sooooo many reasons.

We want our children to feel confident, to feel capable, to aim for the stars and never doubt themselves.  But by puberty most of us have figured out, due to where we are, who our parents are, and our own physical/mental proclivities, that there are things we can never be.  Our parents do not always recognize those limitations though I suspect that their failure to be realistic is a part of their own grieving for their own lost choices.

At 16, after 10 years of dance lessons that my mother scrimped to pay for, I told her I was done.  She was angry, disappointed, and horrified that she had wasted all that time and money on those lessons.  She reminded me repeatedly of how much she had wanted that opportunity and how ungrateful I was.  

I had never asked for dance lessons but liked them well enough. Except for the recitals, the family reunion performances, the school talent shows--i.e., dancing was fun, but not my dream.  Add puberty, to a person that was short but built like a fireplug not a fairy. I was not a fat kid, but desperately needed a bra by 11 and had hips, not fat, but wide hips and my leg muscles were hard as a rock but not lithe---i looked more like a weight lifter than a ballerina.  Simone Biles is well muscled, but this was the early 70's.  In the early seventies, the world still thought Barbie was anatomically correct.  Twiggy was NOT gone, just reinvented as an anorexic giantess.  

A choice from my "be anything" had ended.  

Other choices ended earlier:  I had heard that a girl that looked like her father was lucky.  I suspect that was to appease the little girls that would never win beauty contests but at least I did not have a full mustache like dad.  By 9, I had accepted that Miss America was off the table, just as I knew I would never be a cowboy in the old west, royalty with my own country, or the first woman to fly across the ocean alone (already done).  

By puberty, I knew that running was not on the list---apparently huge breasts are genetic---hand model was out, I had the hands of a 10 year old boy, and they were usually just as dirty because I had to be doing stuff and stuff did not include manicuring my nails while avoiding dirt, paint, auto grease, or rockhunting.  

Those were choices.

By high school, standardized tests had convinced my school that I was no dummy and they encouraged college.  As in,  "you should go to college, not secretarial school.  Do you want to be a teacher or a nurse".  An older friend was going to be a nurse, so I chose that. (knew in the 3rd year of school--first year of actual nursing classes that I was not loving what I chose.  I would have been better served by a art major with history minor, or archeology---nursing school was hard, exacting, made to be both hard and exacting, but not because I would use most of the information in my work.  Physicians would not allow that.  I look back and realize that the nursing instructors were nurses that wanted the profession to be accepted as more than just a just  assistants to physicians.  They have made some headway in the last 50 years.  But I should never have made that choice.

Other decisions, to marry or not, to have kids or not, to move to another state or not---that last one still a possibility, but how many mothers choose to move away from their grown children and grandchildren.  

By retirement, many choices have disappeared---but not all, definitely not all.  Do I continue to smoke?  do I exercise or sit down in a recliner.  Do I eat healthy or gourmand out.  Do I travel?  Do I start a new hobby?  Do I end an old hobby?  

Periodically, I miss dance class.  I sometimes pull out the music books and play piano--badly, flood humidity then a move to a new home is hard on the tune-up so no matter how well or badly I play, it's off-key.  Do I paint?  Do I write?  Do I polish rocks, make jewelry, make furniture, build a greenhouse and garden. 

Choices I still have.

I'm still a little upset about losing the choice of being a cowboy in the old west.


Friday, June 30, 2023

Sometimes

 Sometimes, people will talk and talk, and talk and talk until you can actually understanding what they are saying.

What they are saying---the words--have little to do with anything, they are quoting popular books or discussing movies or telling you all about how wonderful their life is and how amazing their grown childrens' lives are, but you start hearing behind it.

The themes, the focus, it tells you so much more than the words.

Sometimes, the theme of competition and success, of material gain and professional position, of the importance of parents pushing and sacrificing for the future of their offspring is really just about feeling inadequate, as if their own lifestart failed to provide them with the building blocks of greatness.  

Greatness.

The question is, if every child was given the same chances, if every child's parents provided every possible opportunity, if the stars aligned and lady luck was with them, with all of them---would they all be great? 

Is Bill Gates great???

Is the guy driving the machine that is cleaning up the debris after a disaster NOT great?

Are parents that don't devote every moment, and every dime to the successful launching of their child, terrible parents?  Can you possibly devote enough of everything to more than one child?

If you are great?  Should you have children, since obviously you can not be great and also devote everything to a child!

This focus, this constant obsession, both with self-improvement, physical, mental, diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, books that are written about "great" people, only high quality documentaries, constantly sharing how to be the best at everything you do, what is it?

Well, annoying, but beyond that.

Where do we get the message that life is a giant competition in which only "great" people win.

Why do we look at a person that is rich or powerful and see "great".

Why do we look at a person that has had no opportunities and see "loser".

Can you be a loser if you aren't in the game?

Is life a game?

Then you realize, the person talking learned that they were not enough and started to obsess on being great.  They didn't want to blame their parents for not providing them the same opportunities that some of those rich and powerful people have had and knew it was foolish to blame their family for not giving them a Y chromosome therefore, starting them behind the 8-ball, or not giving them whatever it was that causes savants/geniuses like einstein, mozart, etc, etc, etc.  

And obsessive people need control,; the feeling of not having control is what causes that perfectionistic, obsessive behavior.  If there is luck, which is not some miraculous thing but more of a "right place, right time" thing, then we can't really control that.  Yes, we can miss obvious opportunities. but reality is, very few people are considered great even if they do good things.  We want superstars.  If everyone is a superstar, is anyone?

So, the talk, all the talk,talk,talk,talk, is just about a need to show everyone else how great they are, and how willing they are to make their own children great, and how we should all be like them as parents and make all our children great---which basically means rich, and powerful, or winners.

Because......

(hardstop)

I'm sticking with cooperation.  I'd rather we were all good. 

Good is good enough. (and no one ever needs to be a loser)




Sunday, April 30, 2023

The end of the experiment!

 George Washington called this country "a great experiment".    

Experiment.

Like the founding fathers did not know if the US constitution would be the basis of a lasting nation or not.

Like the constitution was not meant to be carved in stone, but rather to be tweaked and improved.

We, the people, have failed to keep us at the head of the curve.

Most nations, stable nations, nations that decided against monarch's, against, dictators, against supreme leaders that are treated like gods, have surpassed us in their respect for human rights, the pursuit of happiness, and the acceptance of people that are not living in the middle of the bell curve.

We traded our soul for money.

We traded our desire for equality, justice, and freedom for a desire of sameness:  make everyone do everything the way "we" want.  But which "we".  Who are these "we" deciding what is good for us all.

Sadly, the whole thing seems to be a push to keep most of us focused on trivia so the rich and powerful can stop the experiment completely.  They like leaders that clearly favor Oligarchs.  They like it if most of us are viewed as replaceable widgets in the corporate machine.  And a bunch of folks thinking that a return to the 1830's would stop the inclusion of women, nonwhite people, and nonchristians would mean that they are once again powerful.

Don't tell those white men that even in 1830, the average white man was almost as powerless as an enslaved person, as powerless as an indigenous person, as powerless as a woman----they don't want to hear it----even though, if they would use their brains, look around themselves, open their eyes, they would notice that the powerlessness they feel now is not from brown people, not from immigrants, not from women or LGBTQ but from the rich and powerful men that have never, ever, ever treated the average white man like part of the rich and powerful crowd.

The prince of Saudi Arabia is part of the rich and powerful, as is Kim Jong Un in North Korea.  Netanyahu is rich and powerful.  The dictator of  China, the head of Apple, Facebook, multiple petroleum corporations, the heads of the corporations that make up the military industrial complex as well as the generals are rich and powerful.  

But the average US citizen, male, female, heterosexual or not, white or not, natural born or not, christian or not, has only their vote, a job that may or not allow them to save toward retirement, purchase health insurance, and take a little time for themselves without losing anything.  That is not power.  

The experiment should not be over.  It can be improved.  Finland, Iceland, Denmark, and countless other countries that were still living in feudal conditions when our experiment started, have figured out that healthcare is a human right not a luxury. Shelter, nutritious food, potable water, clean air are human rights not luxuries.  And a life, not just work, not just NOT killing people at work, not just giving people time off for death or illness but for life, children, family, is a right because life--LIFE--is what we all have and the condition we all share.  

Come on, America---we can do this. (i'm betting those countries that have pulled ahead will even let us use their methods.)  Next stop, respecting all life, not just the humans.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

2023!!!!!

 It's here.

The next year.

Last year beat 2016-2020 because I was not afraid of waking up to find out that the president had auctioned off the country to the highest bidder.

Last year beat 2021 because the corona virus was mostly not killing people AND most folks were heading back to living their lives instead of isolating to keep from dying or making a loved one so sick they died.  We had a new president that was actually doing a pretty good job.

In 2022, Putin decided to retake the Ukraine, after being independent of the USSR since 1991.

Putin, who was a KGB officer, then in 1999-present has been either the president or Prime minister continously.  Putin, whose opposition seems to have an affinity for prison time and poison, wants the Ukraine.

Putin, who meddled in our elections, meddled in our media, and hosted John Kennedy (R-LA), Richard Shelby (R-AL), Steve Daines (R-MT), John Hoeven (R-ND), John Thune (R-SD), Jerry Moran (R-KS), and Ron Johnson (R-WI) — and one House member, Kay Granger (R-TX) in Moscow on the 4th of July---to "definitely not discuss the russian tampering in the election".  What they were there for has never been divulged.

The war created a lot of ripples, leading to lots of inflation and lots of food shortages and many folks seeking asylum.  (It's like a butterfly flapped it's wings in china or something.)

The house of representatives completed their investigation of the 1/6/2021 insurrection--yes, trump arranged it with lots of help, like everyone didn't already know that, and the Attorney general appointed a prosecuter for the many and sundry charges made against Trump and the other many people that ended up involved. 

Quite a few classified documents that somehow left the white house and ended up shoved into odd and insecure places all over a golf resort were reclaimed and sent to the archives as per law.

The November election which was supposed to be a red wave and take back the house and senate, lost the senate--barely, and gained the house, by 222 republicans to 212, other--1 democrat died between election and the 2023 beginning of the 118th congress.  With a bit of justice, Santos will be removed before swearing in, since his entire campaign was lies, and 16 representatives attempted to assist Trump in overturning the election, therefore participating in the attempted (and thank god, failed coup of our Republic)  The 14th amendment allows for the removal of those individuals, just as the politicians that sided with the confederate sedition were eliminated from future elections/public offices after the Civil War.  

In January of the new and hopeful year, the House will be Republican controlled unless those 16 plus one are removed.

We wasted time.

But, for many of us, the first goal is going to be trying to reach across the great divide that the 45th president created.  We will be trying to reconnect with family members, trying to decrease both our time in political social media sites and our anxiety about the many possible things that can get worse if we can't come together to work on solutions to climate change, poor education for our children, poor pay, health care issues, employment issues, access to reproductive care, clean water, clean air, adequate housing, etc, etc, etc.  

We don't have to reinvent the wheel---many countries are handling those things that regular people need and with much more grace and creativity than we have in the last 60 years.  They might even share how they handled those things they have accomplished.  



Friday, July 22, 2022

Life Expectancy.

 I'm sixty-five years old.  

I retired early at 62.  My life expectancy then, as a white female in the USA, was 81.2 years or almost 20 years left to go.

If I had retired at 65, I could have expected 15 years---covid, opioid crisis, whatever dropped expectancy. But wait, there is more, since I'm in Oklahoma, it actually is only 78.6 for a white female, about 13 years--and that was figured before the pandemic.

Reality is, neither statistic is going to kill me--unless I catch Covid and die of it, or start taking opiates and become addicted, I'll die the same time I would have no matter what.

So what is all this life expectancy stuff.

It's statistics.

Statistics help us to see the big picture.  They show us where we are progressing, where we are failing and how we compare to other places on those same things.  But they are not a simple picture---call them abstract art---because to understand the stats, you have to dig around and find the causes of the changes.

In 1860, life expectancy was 39.1 but  in 1865 it 35.1.  

What happened?  Short answer--the Civil War.  But it is complicated as those statistics may not include anyone in the country but white people. (And there were other people here, there always have been--at least since written history in this country and we have evidence of people here more than 20,000 years ago).  

While many people died of the war, many also died of the consequences of war, broken supply chains, farms burned or left fallow because of where they were or who was not around to care for the farm--so hunger thrived.  And hate thrived.  Never underestimate the ability of hate to kill people.

Life expectancy has seldom gone down, it takes big things, but some big things really make a difference---Before the USA, Bubonic plague dropped us tremendously, but after in the USA, it has happened seldom enough.

In 1915, life expectancy was 54.14, by 1920, only 53.22.  That was a combination of WWI and the Spanish Flu pandemic.  There were 117,465 deaths of military and nonmilitary personnel in WWI.

The flu pandemic killed 675,000 during that same time period.  The Population at that time was less than 107 Million.

Right now, our life expectancy in this country is being affected by Covid-19, gun violence, climate change, no access to healthcare, no access to abortion/reproductive care, poor education, food deserts, homelessness, income inequality and hate.

What are you and your loved ones being affected by?

Life expectancy in years - USAFacts

List of U.S. states and territories by life expectancy - Wikipedia

• United States: life expectancy 1860-2020 | Statista

How Many Americans Died in WW1? - History (historyonthenet.com)

Covid overtakes 1918 Spanish flu as deadliest disease in U.S. history (statnews.com)

Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Let's Fix the United States of America by updating the constitution.

 The Constitution - Full Text | The National Constitution Center (for your reading pleasure)

Back when the constitution was new, the country was 13 states that had been 13 colonies whose loyalty was to their owner nation.  Each colony wished to maintain it's special individuality.  The constitution, which was always more compromise (to get the approval of 13 varied colony's leaders) than work of brilliance.   The idea of a country without a monarch was very new, with most pointing to Ancient Greece and it's republic as the only example of a non-monarchy in existence---ever.  They knew nothing except European practices after the Church.

Yet, here we are, 246 years later, still acting like our government is the cat's pajamas.

We can AND should do better.

1. The checks and balances of a three part leadership of the country is fine, but why is the executive branch appointing the Top of the Judicial Branch---for life.  No one should get handed a lifetime guaranteed job.  AND the people should vote these people in with 8 year terms and NO second terms.

2. The President should remain 4 years with one possible second term but the qualifications need to include a thorough background check, tax audit, AND a sitting president needs to have ALL assets (except one home and one vehicle) placed by the country in a holding status for the duration of their presidency, no access to any family members.  Also, no family members, including in-laws can work for the president/white house or hold appointed positions in his cabinet/advisors.  Presidential elections need to be a national primary with ranked voting followed by a November election between the TOP TWO primary winners.  Both will be by popular vote, so that each citizen has one vote equal to every other citizen's vote.  Every Citizen, upon achieving both age 18 AND U.S. citizenship status shall be registered.  Every Citizen shall receive a government photo ID for free that is provided upon the same date. 

To clarify, while States still will run state elections, National elections will be run by the Nation, no more party-run primaries, or caucuses, no more Electoral colleges where states with hardly any people have more power than states with huge populations.

National elections will include President/Vice-President, Supreme Court Justices, all Federal Judges,  and the Attorney General every 4 years,  Cabinet Members every 4 years (what?  oh yeah! no more crap with executive branch putting anti-education folks over education and anti-environmental people over the EPA), Senators (Every 4 years) and representatives (every 4 years).  Every candidate for every position will pass the same background check that the presidential and vice-presidential candidates must undergo.  No person can run for the same position more than 2 times, whether they win or not.

Monies for all national elections will be be a set amount provided by the US government and Citizens United will be Stopped completely, as will grassroots donations.  NO MORE BUYING ELECTIONS!  Every Media Organization will be required to provide free and equal time to each candidate.  Lying to get elected will not be allowed.  Campaigning before Six months prior to the primary will not be allowed.  Starting conspiracy theories, spreading untrue rumors about opponent will result in disqualification.

US States - Ranked by Population 2022 (worldpopulationreview.com)

Next up, ungerrymander the country.  Either re-divide the states or allow each state 1 senator for every half a million people.  then wyoming (the District of columbia, Vermont, Alaska, North Dakota, South Dakota, Delaware) gets 1 senator, Rhode Island, Montana, New Hampshire, Hawaii, West Virginia, Idaho, Nebraska get 2  senators, New Mexico, Kansas and Mississippi get 3 senators, Arkansas, Iowa, Nevado, Utah and Connecticutt get 4 senators, Oklahoma, Oregon, Kentucky, Louisiana, and Alabama get 5 senators, all the way up to California getting 40 senators.  (you could also have the same number of senators as representatives, which would also be by population)

OR, we keep 2 senators per state-district and go for areas with over 30 million million each.  With that we get about 11 states.  (I've added the District of columbia and Puerto Rico, sense we should not have US citizens with no vote.)

Districts 1 and 2, California and Texas each get 2 senators.

District 3, Florida and Georgia combine to get 2 senators.

District 4, New York and Pennsylvania combine to get 2 senators.

District 5, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio combine to get 2 senators.

District 6, District of Columbia, Virginia and West Virginia, North Carolina and South Carolina and Puerto Rico combine to get 2 senators.

District 7, Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennesse, and Kentucky get 2 senators.

District 8, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Idaho Utah and Hawaii get 2 senators.

District 9, Missouri, Wisconsin, Iowa, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska get 2 senators.

District 10, Michigan, Minnesota, South Dakota, North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Washington, Oregon, and Alaska get 2 senators.

District 11, Massachusetts, Maryland, Connecticutt, New Jersey, Vermont, Delaware, Rhode Island, Maine, and New Hampshire get 2 senators.

Or, we just eliminate 2 houses of congress, and stick with 4 year terms in the currently apportioned house of representatives and give both the job of the house and the job of the senate to the single house.  (K.I.S.S.)

Comments and suggestions welcome.  







Monday, July 18, 2022

expected high--113 degrees.

 It is July 18th of 2022.  

In February, it was so cold the old houses in my neighborhood were hanging quilts inside over the doors and windows and still by day three the heater was struggling to keep it above 60 inside.

In May, it was raining so much we thought we were going to get a repeat of the 2019 floods.

By June, we had stopped raining and hit 100 degrees (F) several times.

By today, we have hit over 100 as many days as not.  

Tuesday, expected is 113.  

That's tomorrow.  

The days that haven't gone over 100 in the last week have hit 98-99.  

They always feel hotter--heat index.

No rain since June 10th.  None. Not even the usual July 4th post fireworks shower.

People are saying stupid stuff, like "perhaps climate change is real".

Why climate change became popular

While attested since the 1850s and notably used in some 1950s research and reporting, the phrase climate change spread in the 1980s. There was no official call for everyone to start saying climate change instead of global warming, and it’s a myth that scientists changed the name global warming to climate change because they weren’t finding evidence for average rises in temperature across the globe. You can still find resources that use both terms.

However, many organizations, such as NASA, use climate change more frequently because it encompasses all of the predicted effects of global warming and “temperature change itself isn’t the most severe effect of changing climate.” (It’s changes in sea levels and precipitation patterns.)  The Changing Language Of Climate Change | Dictionary.com


And don't forget the term "greenhouse gases".

The greenhouse effect is a process that occurs when gases in Earth's atmosphere trap the Sun's heat. This process makes Earth much warmer than it would be without an atmosphere. The greenhouse effect is one of the things that makes Earth a comfortable place to live.

What Is the Greenhouse Effect? | NASA Climate Kids


Venus may have had a shallow liquid-water ocean and habitable surface temperatures for up to 2 billion years of its early history, according to computer modeling of the planet’s ancient climate by scientists at NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS) in New York. 


Venus today is a hellish world. It has a crushing carbon dioxide atmosphere 90 times as thick as Earth’s. There is almost no water vapor. Temperatures reach 864 degrees Fahrenheit (462 degrees Celsius) at its surface.

NASA climate modeling suggests Venus may have been habitable – Climate Change: Vital Signs of the Planet

Overview | Venus – NASA Solar System Exploration


Amazingly, the main issue climate change deniers have is the belief that humans could affect the climate of the whole world.

The deniers also frequently think that an asteroid striking earth could not cause the ice age and that dinosaur bones were placed in the rocks by the devil to make the faithful question God's word---the bible, which makes no mention of such and seems to describe an earth less than 10,000 years old. 


So, let's talk about human effects on environment.

The Dust Bowl of the 1930's was well documented.  There are both pictures and written testimonies of it as it occurred.  

It was no accident that it occurred after the Land Rush and statehood.  Suddenly, a huge prairie was being cleared, plowed, and farmed.  

Many current farming practices, strip planting, terracing, crop rotation, and planting fallow land were a result of lessons learned from the Dust Bowl: Cause & Impact On Great Depression - HISTORY


That, and the rather ridiculous statements of belief by those profiting by selling land, that the act of starting a farm would make that land more lush and fertile.


The old practice of plowing up endless fields with no attention to erosion, watershed, or normal rainfall in an area resulted in a topsoil, loosened by drought, being blown by the winds of the plains---for miles.  


Science.  

It's not magic.

It's literally learning from what we can check with our 5 senses and the instruments we can create that help us to use those same senses to see smaller things, detect smaller amounts of a chemical (like taste and smell)  feel smaller movements (touch) or hear soundwaves outside the realm of human ear detection.  

Ignorance is not the answer---a full-bodied education is.

Thoughts and prayers is not the answer---use of the information we learn from those that study such things, to decrease our own human impact  is.


Humans can not continue to live as locust on the surface of our home planet.

We are too many and too impactful.

It is time to view ourselves as actual stewards instead of just consumers.




Friday, December 31, 2021

The Last Day of 2021.

 It's been a long year.  The pandemic is settling in to be the new normal as we no longer have time to reach herd immunity---the virus has mutated past that.  

We do have lot's of herd mentality.

We had our capital infiltrated by enemies for the first time since 1814---which was during an actual war.

We saw a 17 year old take an illegally purchased weapon to a protest via mom's driving him across state lines, and he was found not guilty. 

We saw a gal pal of pedophile Epstein get convicted of trafficking---sentencing to follow.

We saw an attack on Roe vs. Wade, not overturned yet, but plenty of states have made ending an unwanted pregnancy difficult to illegal.

It has been a weird year.

I'm ready for 2022.

I'm ready for normal, though I suspect a new normal is coming.

We are going to make that new normal.

Let's make it a good year:  a year of peace, a year of equality, a year of equity, a year of love.

Bye, 2021, may you rest your weary bones.

Welcome 2022.

All hope lies in you.

Monday, November 22, 2021

Where did I come from and Where am I going.

 I was born less than 30 miles from the place I currently live.  My parents moved to the "oil capital of the world" in the 1950's, from a farm in Arkansas.  Neither were from Arkansas, but WWII broke a lot of ties for people as they went into the military then left after the war ended.  My mother was an "elderly prima gravida", i.e., over 30 at her first pregnancy.  

Descriptions of life before Tulsa were stark:  two people that saw the struggle of the depression just before adulthood, two people that experienced the country on ration stamps after a time when food lines and homelessness and hobo-hood were avoided by rural farm life (plant a garden, raise animals, hunt animals, milk cow, gather eggs.)  All clothes were homemade, and for growing people, frequently passed around as growth spurts demanded.  Kids got a new pair of shoes once a year, and they became next years everyday shoes, so bought extra big. 

People quilted, not as an art form but to make blankets out of the pieces and scraps from flour sacks and worn out clothes.  Wood fires in winter, kerosene lanterns till electricity made it to rural areas.  Cars and trucks lasted until no one could fix it and lots of mechanics were born of learning to make that old engine and transmission give one more year of life.

Memories of my 1950's idyllic childhood included watching pigs castrated, chicken necks wrung, steers dehorned, manually squishing the water out of clothes after the washing, snapping green beans, picking berries and cherries, canning jar after jar of tomatoes and green beans and anything that could be canned---enough for two years, in case next year was a bad year for the garden.  

My first store bought dress was when I was in third grade---for pictures.  I watched too many westerns, so it was old fashioned and frankly very homely, but I loved it.  I had two childhood friends--a cousin and my mom's best friends daughter that were a year ahead of me, in age and size, and both mom's sewed, so I had plenty of hand-me-downs.  When the bags appeared, I could tell where they came from by the way they smelled--one smelled of the farm, one smelled of sandalwood.  I learned to iron by 10 because cotton was cheaper than permanent press and wrinkles were a sign of poor upbringing.

We learned fashion rules: no white shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day, only dresses at church, hats and purse and shiny shoes on Easter.  Curlers and hair spray for family holidays, picture day at school.  Take your school clothes off and put them back up when you got home and put on "play clothes" (I would call them paint clothes now, one's not good enough for public, perfect for home).

I survived the civil rights movement, the war protests, watergate, and trickle-down economics without having any of it impact me much at the time.  I survived college life in a school with a large Iranian student body that suddenly left with little understanding of the coup in Iran that the USA contributed to.  I survived the rise of apocalyptic evangelicalism with little awareness of what that movement was doing to old time religion all over the country.  And I survived the change from folks just living their lives to becoming "consumers", like that was a new religion and an act of Patriotism.  

When my mother bought my 7 year old son a pair of $150 Jordans, I was shocked.  When she bought him a tv for his room, something a had said no to, since we had never had more than a single TV in our house, I thought she had been abducted by aliens.  But still, I didn't see what was going on.

My parents got old and sick and died.  My children survived their childhood and became productive members of society---good consumers one and all.  Then, the twin towers went down and the Wallstreet bubble popped and we elected a black president---and suddenly I could see connections.  I could see the connections to all the way back from moving to the booming oil town.  All the way back to WWII and the great depression and FDR.  AND the Cold War, AND Slavery, AND Colonialism.  All the patriotism.  All the flag waving.  

Suddenly Columbus day was no longer about a great discovery, but about the genocide of a populated continent---populated for at least 12,000 years, with civilizations rising and falling and religions rising and falling and cultures rising and falling, and the invasion by outsiders causing much of that falling.

The Oil capital of the World, in 1950's America, was where the indigenous people who were shoved off their original land starting 130 years earlier, had been pushed.  It was given to them.  Then, Oil was discovered, like it had been in Pennsylvania in 1859.  In case you think this makes us Americans awesome, China used it about 2,000 years ago, and Babylon put it in their asphalt to build with in 459 BCE.  The difference in 1859, was the industrial age, and while steam engines worked, the use of petroleum allowed less bulking fuel than wood or coal in trains. 

The oil boom, not unlike the gold booms in Colorado and California, directly made both more desireable for statehood.  The industrial age was also the birth of the industrial baron families, richer than gods and thus capable of influencing government officials, both legally and corruptly.  

What did that oil boom do?  Read the "Killers of the Flower Moon" for details. But, the discovery of Oil in Oklahoma was an accident, in 1859, near Salina, in the then Oklahoma Territory, in a well that had been drilled for salt. In 1907, before Oklahoma became a state, it produced the most oil of any state or territory in the United States. From 1907 to 1930, Oklahoma and California traded the title of number one US oil producer back and forth.[1] Oklahoma oil production peaked in 1927, at 762,000 barrels/day, and by 2005 had declined to 168,000 barrels/day, but then started rising, and by 2014 had more than doubled to 350,000 barrels per day, the fifth highest state in the U.S.[2]

In the latter quarter of the 20th century, an average decline of 3.1%/year, until additional drilling led to a temporary increase from 1980 to 1984, followed by a decline at 6.6%/year until the average decline of 3.1% was met in 1994.[3] As of September 2012, 72 out of the 77 counties in Oklahoma have producing oil or gas wells. The deepest natural gas well is 24,928 feet (7,598 m), in Beckham County, and the deepest producing oil well is 15,500 feet (4,700 m), in Comanche County.[4]

Fracking and the injection of the water used to do that created earthquakes, people with well water (oklahoma is rural, many people use well water, hooking up to rural water supplies is expensive and not covered by the government) were experiencing water that was flammable from methane.

So here I am, living in the last land of the Southeast indigenous people since Europe arrived seeking riches.  The tribes are still fighting for the upholding of the various treaties that our US government failed to honor when it was a case of natural resources/land that Europeans wanted to make money on.  The nonvoluntary African immigrants are still fighting for their right to be treated equally under the law.  The Asian immigrants brought with promises of work and livelihood are still fighting for equal opportunities.  And despite the right to Freedom of Religion and Separation of Church and State, there are deep prejudices against those of nonprotestant Christian beliefs.

So, now people are calling me "woke".  Griping about my "leftist politics", while all I'm doing is trying to make the US constitution as true and honest as the flag-waving, patriotism of my early childhood.

I only offend those that don't believe in freedom for all, equality for all, and opportunity for all.  Where am I going?---to keep trying to wake other people up.  


Sunday, July 4, 2021

climate change is here---it's sadder than expected

 Hundreds of deaths were being investigated as heat related in Oregon, Washington state and British Columbia. The dangerous heat began June 25 and only began to subside in some areas on Tuesday the 29th.

The death toll in Oregon alone has reached at least 95, the state medical examiner said on Friday, with most occurring in Multnomah County, which encompasses Portland. The deaths include an Guatemalan immigrant who collapsed as he worked at a plant nursery in a rural Oregon town during the soaring heat.

Death toll from Northwest heat wave expected to keep rising | The Kansas City Star

The northwest---land of our rainforest, our always coolish, always green lands.

There are Asian Elephants wandering across countries seeking a place that can sustain their lives.

We just had a hotter than ever June despite record rains---that translates to swampish conditions working outside.  Clothes saturated with sweat in less than 2 hours despite shade and breeze.

A building collapsed in Florida--right off of the Ocean.

Whales are dying.

There are 3900 tigers living in the wild.

There are about 10,000 tigers living in captivity.

In the last decade, 160 species went extinct.

There are at least 4 trucks in my small town of 15,000 that have altered their exhaust to belch clouds of black smoke on command.

I'm starting to understand that we,  the all-of-us we, are not going to actually fix climate change.

I'm getting that I may or may not see how bad it can get, I'm over 60, but am noticing that exercising and breathing in this soupy air is harder every year.  But I'm also starting to get that my grandkids might not see how bad it can get.  

We joke about cave men being old by 40.  I'm sure that a rare person lived as long as our oldest now, but I'm also sure that life expectancy was actually about 40.

That means lots of dead men/women/children.  

Humans are great at adapting, but not so good at sharing, at sacrificing their own creature comforts, (crying about masks, fights about missing huge group events---just to keep from spreading a virus that was killing people) and if the pandemic was too hard to live through, how much worse will it have to get to bring the planet back from our own, selfish, high-profit, tasty but bad for you eating habits and creature comforts.

Those trucks, belching eye-watering, nose burning, throat-clenching smoke for no reason except to say---"look what I can do, you silly pansies". 

Like overbred show-dogs, we have bred out our own ability to survive.

Sunday, June 27, 2021

Time for the CDC to study gun violence---and police violence.

 The CDC is a great site for the public to learn about health issues.  It is also the hub of where research lands, and the county health departments send the information they collect from hospitals, physician offices, and follow up calls death to the state health departments which can add in information from trauma registry and death certificates, which then provides information to the CDC.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (cdc.gov)

Injury Center | CDC

Firearm Violence Prevention |Violence Prevention|Injury Center|CDC

Why is the CDC not allowed to study gun violence?
The amendment, which was first tucked into an appropriations bill signed into law by President Bill Clinton, stipulates that "none of the funds made available for injury prevention and control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention may be used to advocate or promote gun control."
Why was the CDC shut down for gun control?
They lobbied the government to shut down the CDC’s National Center for Injury Prevention and Control entirely. To compromise, Congress settled on the Dickey Amendment, which states: “None of the funds made available for injury prevention and control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention may be used to advocate or promote gun control.”
Why the Feds don't research gun violence?
Dickey: Why the feds don't research gun violence. Passed in 1997 with the strong backing of the NRA, the so-called "Dickey Amendment" effectively bars the national Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) from studying firearm violence -- an epidemic the American Medical Association has since dubbed "a public health crisis.".
Gun Violence: Why the CDC Doesn't Study It (healthline.com)  An excellent, fact checked article.  
Forty states send gun injury and death information to the CDC.  Ten do not.  The law prevents it from being required and from being studied for purposes of understanding root causes.
There is nothing that centralizes research on police caused injury and death. Several groups have taken it upon themselves to try to track this, but without regulations and requirements, there are many holes in their databases.
There are multiple lists and stats and databases, none complete.  None going very far back.  And none with the same rules of inclusion.
We have an easy route to both report and collect all gun violence and Police violence using the same systems that report Hepatitis C in the community and primary lung cancer deaths.  It's there.  Laws to maintain ignorance and prevent improvement are currently only serving the NRA and the Police Unions.
Ignorance is not bliss but complicit.

Monday, June 21, 2021

Majority Rules in Oklahoma

I just read an editorial about voter fraud written by an Oklahoman in a local newpaper.  

Not about Oklahoma voter fraud, but about voter fraud in every state that didn't vote like Oklahoma voted.  Her push was to have all the voter fraud in the states that really voted for Trump but the vote looked like the vote was for Biden, examined and corrected.

Yes, I know, all the voter fraud claims were found to be untrue except a few in which the fraud was someone trying to vote extra for trump.

Apparently, she believed that Trump was soooo popular that the idea of anyone voting against him was unthinkable.

Oklahoma has a population of 4,027,691 per Oklahoma estimates (the 2020 census says just under 4 million, so I'm guessing that our census results are missing a few folks)  

Of those 24.1% are under 18, so 3,057,018 are of voting age.  Of those, 74% actually registered to vote, but they didn't all vote.  

About 51% of those over 18 actually voted.

Trump=1020280

Biden=503890

Jorgensen=24731

Kanye West=5597

Jade Simmons=3654

Brock Pierce=2547

So, 33% of Oklahomans over age 18 voted for Trump.

This state was in the top 5 states voting for Trump.  All 5 states were small by population.   Their is no evidence that anyone should think that Trump was so popular in most other states, and 33% of Oklahomans voted for him.

We need better math classes in this state.

2020 Popular Vote Tracker | The Cook Political Report

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Batmanned--creating our enemies.

 'I'm scared': AP obtains video of deadly arrest of Black man (apnews.com)

The above article is one example of a person reacting to his own past experiences, and those he has seen experienced by others.  

Which person am I talking about--the poor man that died scared in police custody?  or the police officers?  

Batman was a direct result of a city of corruption that led him to watch the death of his parents.  But the bad guys, they were also the result of the evil they saw, at the hands of the corrupt city.

It's an old story, the hero and the villain created from the same origin story.

The thin blue line folks will tell you, I'm just doing my job, I shouldn't get hurt doing my job.  People just need to do what I tell them.  People need to stay calm because I have to make split second decisions based on their actions to keep myself and my fellow officers safe.  

Pretty much, saying "gun" if you are not a middle class white man or woman, is the same as pointing a gun at them.  That split second is so filled with fear that the shoot, frequently emptying the gun into center body mass from 10 foot or less from the "bad guy".

I know we are seeing more of this because of smart phones and social media and body cams, but are we also seeing more of it because we have all seen more of this?  

Is the fear now greater due to the many times we have seen what happens when the police decide to go after a nonwhite person?  Are there more high speed chases, more foot chases, more brown folks going "rabbit"---perhaps you prefer "deer in the headlight", frozen, with fear, trying to move slowing so as not to get shot, saying things like "there is a gun in the---(huge and multiple booms go off).

We now have stand your ground in a lot of states.  If the police use a no-knock warrant to enter a home, can the residents lawfully shoot them?

Is there a law that officers have a right to put their hands on a person instead of using their words?  You know, to turn them around and spread their legs, to shove their head down to get them in the car.  

Do officers have a right to yell instead of talk, curse instead of talk, push instead of talk.  Do regular citizen not have those same rights?

Getting your respect by making those you interact with fear for their lives is not actually respect.

And guess what, that adrenaline you are working with, the person you are yelling at is dealing with that too.  

We don't need Batman and the Joker. We don't need more badass cops.  We need Andy of Mayberry.  We need Mr. Rogers.  We need Officer Friendly, that lives in the neighborhood and helps people when they have problems.

Maybe we can head off the horrible effects of poverty and criminal/police interactions if we start early on more than just making poor kids hate cops young.



living with the dead.

I will be 70 in 60 days, give or take a few hours.   Am I old? I will not say I'm 69 years young, or a look good for my age, or I'm ...