Sometimes

 Sometimes, people will talk and talk, and talk and talk until you can actually understanding what they are saying.

What they are saying---the words--have little to do with anything, they are quoting popular books or discussing movies or telling you all about how wonderful their life is and how amazing their grown childrens' lives are, but you start hearing behind it.

The themes, the focus, it tells you so much more than the words.

Sometimes, the theme of competition and success, of material gain and professional position, of the importance of parents pushing and sacrificing for the future of their offspring is really just about feeling inadequate, as if their own lifestart failed to provide them with the building blocks of greatness.  

Greatness.

The question is, if every child was given the same chances, if every child's parents provided every possible opportunity, if the stars aligned and lady luck was with them, with all of them---would they all be great? 

Is Bill Gates great???

Is the guy driving the machine that is cleaning up the debris after a disaster NOT great?

Are parents that don't devote every moment, and every dime to the successful launching of their child, terrible parents?  Can you possibly devote enough of everything to more than one child?

If you are great?  Should you have children, since obviously you can not be great and also devote everything to a child!

This focus, this constant obsession, both with self-improvement, physical, mental, diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, books that are written about "great" people, only high quality documentaries, constantly sharing how to be the best at everything you do, what is it?

Well, annoying, but beyond that.

Where do we get the message that life is a giant competition in which only "great" people win.

Why do we look at a person that is rich or powerful and see "great".

Why do we look at a person that has had no opportunities and see "loser".

Can you be a loser if you aren't in the game?

Is life a game?

Then you realize, the person talking learned that they were not enough and started to obsess on being great.  They didn't want to blame their parents for not providing them the same opportunities that some of those rich and powerful people have had and knew it was foolish to blame their family for not giving them a Y chromosome therefore, starting them behind the 8-ball, or not giving them whatever it was that causes savants/geniuses like einstein, mozart, etc, etc, etc.  

And obsessive people need control,; the feeling of not having control is what causes that perfectionistic, obsessive behavior.  If there is luck, which is not some miraculous thing but more of a "right place, right time" thing, then we can't really control that.  Yes, we can miss obvious opportunities. but reality is, very few people are considered great even if they do good things.  We want superstars.  If everyone is a superstar, is anyone?

So, the talk, all the talk,talk,talk,talk, is just about a need to show everyone else how great they are, and how willing they are to make their own children great, and how we should all be like them as parents and make all our children great---which basically means rich, and powerful, or winners.

Because......

(hardstop)

I'm sticking with cooperation.  I'd rather we were all good. 

Good is good enough. (and no one ever needs to be a loser)