"People don't change"

 I've heard that my whole life, "People don't change", "they just get older and uglier", "they just get fatter", or worst, "they just learn to hide it better".

But, I've changed.  The person I was in my teens and twenties is so different than me now that I can't believe I was ever like I was back then.  

And, no, I haven't changed completely.  The seeds of who I am now existed all the way back in first grade. 

People in their thirties start noticing the changes.  They say things like,  "I guess I'm growing up" and less wonderful things like, "I guess I'm getting old".  Old should be older, but both are right.  

By forty, many of us were trying to grasp that, well, life might very well be half over.  No one was ID'ing us anymore in liquor store or clubs.  No one was commenting on how well you we were doing for our age unless we became POTUS.  People look askance at you when you say you are thinking about going back to school.  But you still feel pretty good.  Unless you have smoked or drank alot and sunbathed alot and have really bad genes, you probably don't have too many wrinkles.  If you aren't still in shape, you feel like you could get back into shape.  

By fifty, your definitely hitting middle age.  Clothing choices have changed with comfort and appropriateness to the situation outweigh the possibility of some great complements for the daring fashion statement.  No one tells you that your jewelry choices are too big or to bold unless you start wearing hello kitty necklaces or get your nose pierced for the next staff meeting.  And nobody asks about your kids, they ask if you have grandkids, even if your kid is only 8. A fancy sports car means midlife crisis not successful and fun.  Hitting the club every night means you're an alcoholic.  You think back to your teen years, and finally admit that you were no where near as together as you thought at the time.  (if you were really self-observant, you may have noticed this by your late thirties, but when you raised your own kids seems to have an impact on this bit of self-awareness).

By sixty, you are getting a little touchy about people treating you like you are getting old, over-the-hill, a fuddy-duddy, no longer capable of running with the young shakers and movers(if richer than god, you may not get this message, but they are thinking it).  You can fight it, try really hard to keep the gray out of the hair, the wrinkles at bay, the middle age spread from ruining the clothing lines.  You can learn the new lingo, and treat the people your age worse than the 30 year olds do.  Or, you can retire ASAP and do what you want.  

But when dealing with people older than you, at any age, never forget---they have been your age.  They have lived it.  Maybe they didn't examine it, preferring denial, but somewhere in there, they know something about what it is like to be you.

And, they know about change.  Self-change.

Some change is slow and hard to see;  may take years to grasp that the  anxious and self-conscious child you were is completely gone.

Some change is fast, a moment of insight, the knowledge that much as you want something, that is not realistic,that you can never alter yourself enough to succeed or that you can not actually change another person to fit your desires.  

And change is not the enemy.

There is nothing more pathetic than a person who is exactly the same person they were at 16.  They have not grown, not up, not more mature, not more self-aware.  Thank god that doesn't happen that often.

People change daily. 

Change is a sign of adaptability---that is the thing that makes us humans so good at surviving.