Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Waiting for the chili to simmer...happy new year!

Its January 1st.  The 57th of my life.  Another chance to resolve to do better, to make promises to myself, to change, and ultimately many of the same resolutions will appear the next year.  I don't actually feel much guilt over this.  Either they are not realistic or I don't care about them that much or they are more than 1 year goals.
Some of the resolutions that are not back on the board:
1) Getting back to my weight at 16.   I saw a woman a few years back that walked constantly.  She was in her 70's, had dementia, and had apparently been an exercise and fitness (chose your noun here) since puberty.  Her family made sure her hair was always a perfect blonde and her clothes were high-end athletic.  Walking behind her, you would have sworn she was young and healthy, but when she turned around, even with the plastics and night creams, she was a lost and confused elderly woman.  That disturbed me the first time, but made me think about my life--and all life.  What is really important.
2) Saving enough money for a good retirement.  (too late, I want to retire, prefer not to be working at a job I don't feel inspired by up until the last hour of my life, but saving is not my answer, I'll have to find a way to budget myself and make some money off the many things I do love to do)
3)  Write the great American novel. (I'm going to settle for journaling and this blog which has been opened 213 times but may or may not have ever been read.  It makes me think maybe I will look like a crone from the back, but I will still be capable of  a conversation)
4)  Become a famous artist.  (I've already sold more paintings than Van Gogh and still have both ears, that is a kind of joke if you know his life).  I have asked the people that I have given paintings to NOT to put them in garage sales.  Every time a see a painting in a garage sale with a price that covers the frame at a bargain price it makes me think of puppies and kittens dumped by the side of the road.  I must admit I have gotten some great frames that way.)
5)Win the lottery (I'm lying, that is still on the list--hope springs eternal)

The real list this year is to keep me "making".  Paint a painting a month.  Draw daily.  Write daily.  Blog weekly.  Take a photograph every day (new camera).  Finish painting the house (that one is always on there and  always will be-I can out-procrastinate any paint guarantee, I seem.)
 The list goes on, reading more like a to do list.  I hang it where I can see it, then manage to avoid reading it for weeks at a time.
Every time I read it I do feel inspired to do something on it.
Because I have to be doing... always doing.
Maybe its because I'm in that stage of life that focuses on productivity.
Maybe doing keeps me from running through the street screaming that the sky is falling. I don't know, but the Chili is simmering.  It may need more seasoning.  Guess its time to finish making that.

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