SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE

I was raised on this homily.  You know the one, "what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."  But it was usually being used as code for someone's extramarital affair backfiring and the gossip in the kitchen trying not to be understood by the little ears wandering in and out.
It isn't bad--a little  golden rule, a little equal rights,  but these days, while we all know that there is a lot of inequality going around, we have a weird little subset of ridiculousness in which women think they are to be treated like princesses by their spouse and they are supposed to treat him like their personal servant and whipping boy.  Where did this come from.  I have heard a lot of women referring to this as if it is something to be proud of.  I have heard mothers tell their sons, "no matter what she does, a gentleman doesn't hit,yell, curse her, or walk away"  Amazingly, some of these women are even still married.  I would never expect my son or daughter to "just take it".  That implies that a marriage is more important than they are.  A marriage that sucks the life from one person so the other person can enjoy it more is wrong.  Marriage must be a partnership between equals, neither more or less important than the other.
If you have slapped, pushed, punched, kicked, grabbed, cursed, yelled, denigrated, insulted, or otherwise abused your spouse, you were wrong.  It doesn't matter if you were mad, it doesn't matter if you were right or they were wrong in the original conversation, and it doesn't matter if you are the female.  You were wrong.  If you do any of those things, and they respond in kind, you are getting what you gave--a simple law of physics only applied to behavior--think pendulum. If I kick you in the shin and you kick me in the shin back, what kind of jerk am I to complain.
But I here it from young women all the time, "my mother and father told me I should expect to be treated like a princess, like a queen and no real man ever hurts a woman."  OK!  Got that.  So only fake men don't like to be hurt, the real ones are OK with being treated like crap.  I've never met one of those, that doesn't even sound human.
In addition, isn't it a little insulting to women to think that their nasty behavior is so expected and so unimportant that it shouldn't be responded to in kind?  I never wanted to be treated like a delicate and silly creature that can only be expected to act foolish.  I want to be treated like an equal.  I want my respect to have been earned, just like everyone else's respect is earned.
So, princess, next time you hit your spouse and he hits you back, that is wrong but that is sauce.  Equality is not about being treated like a special little princess, its about acting like an adult human being.