Gratitude for comfort.

Last night, after painting for hours and quilting for hours and waiting in a car for a kid's activity to end, and then hours of  TV, I went upstairs, and fell into bed.  The feel of the sheets, the weight of the quilts, the rumpled pillows---wonderful.
I lay their in the dark, the coolness of the sheets a contrast to the softness of the quilts, the sound of the wind made a lullaby.  I was no longer on the edge of old.  I was once again a child, and with that soft and gentle memory I drifted off.

Some people might ask "what kind of mattress?", "what was the thread count of the sheets?"  "What did you take?".  But the answer is much simpler, I turned the thermostat down two hours before bedtime.  When I was a child, winter in the bedroom was cold.  Quilts were a joy. Bedtime was a time of feeling your own body-heat make a tiny space of comfort.

We are currently in a time of---something?  I know I feel asleep for a few years and woke up to find that equality in this country of no class systems was no longer a given.  I'm not sure it ever was, but think that maybe I was just born at a strange spot in history when the middle-class was at its strongest and personal delusional systems were at an all time high.  I can no longer pretend, and when I hear the loyal patriotism, the repetition of meaningless platitudes and the Pollyanna preaching of "be positive you're just being negative, everything is fine", I yearn for my old bedroom in the winter, my tiny den of warmth and safety.

Childhood should feel safe and most parents manage a semblance of safe-feelings for their children. It isn't that hard, the little tykes have nothing to compare it to. Live a few decades, discover the powerlessness of parents with little money---translation to American--no power, of being that parent, of being the grandparent that is the safety net even though the entire net is made of plastic, high-interest plastic at that--and moments of comfort are truly rare.  Secure, well-adjusted children are a miracle.

The schools still try to make good little citizens, teaching patriotism--"this is the greatest country in the world, be proud to be here taking advantage of the many opportunities"  "you can do anything you set your mind to"  "work hard"  " participate in the democratic process".  I wish they would just focus on teaching them to use their minds, to think, to investigate, to make a plan and carry it out. Our public schools are not for the children, but for the machine that is our country.

First, how long since we were #1 in anything that was important.  We are geographically the fourth largest nation in the world.  We have the largest economy--but what does that mean.  We have the highest mean (average) personal income, but the second highest median personal income, so we have some really rich citizens, the problem being we don't have a lot of those rich citizens.  We have the most productive workers in the world!  Wow!  Are they well paid?  Well they aren't working in sweat shops, but who thought that made motivated and productive workers?  It has the 4th most unequally distributed wealth in the world.  So the teachers have us working hard, but it doesn't sound like very many of them really get to be Successful.  Oh, and we are #1 in military spending.  Good job teaching patriotism!

Participating in the democratic process is more difficult. We can all vote, unless we are felons.  But our vote is really more of a suggestion to the electorate.  We aren't a democracy, we are a republic. Greece was a republic.  Citizens voted.  Women were not voters.  2nd class peoples weren't voters. Some things really don't change.  We are a nation of pretenders.  "we are all equal"  "We don't have a ruling class" "Everyone has the same opportunity".  "this is the greatest nation in the world".
I think it has a good ideal; was built with nice principles.
 I think that many of the founding fathers were very idealistic.  But I have to wonder what the focus is in those schools that teach the children of our current ruling class.  Somehow, I can't see such platitudes meaning anything to children who already get an allowance bigger than our full-time minimum wage earners and last I checked, these kids weren't going to the military unless they start with rank.

So I am thankful for a cold bed with quilts, my comfort, my memories of feeling safe and snug.  I can only hope that those children out there with cold beds also find comfort and dream of a world where they are safe and warm and able to be anything they put their minds to.
Sometimes Dream-time is the best times we have.